radio show where they take and set up callers but only give one word answers then hang up and move on

freebird

i ran a all request radio station but everyone who called in asked for freebird. it ran at low cost, we only had to buy one album. i sold the company for 50 milllion dollars its now the third biggest radio station in the rust belt

Jack Horkheimer

Bit about people who are addicted to cell phones are just trapped within a reputation of punctual responses

Im sexist. But only physically. I think we are genetically the same mentally

how come newspapers never have the answers to the questions i want to know. the headline of the article is () i wanna know () and the go off on a diatribe on ()

honesty segment similar to norm and the horse. When are the most frequent lies and why do we do it?

kid grocery

taking kid to grocery store. when at store with kids you can seem like a culinary genius because your kid doestn't realize everything is labeled

Greg props is pewee human meets Dennis miller

Do you ever wish sometimes, that dragonflies could breath fire

When child calls someone fat or ugly its innocuous that you lose when you get older and pure fact is clouded by judgement. Somehow the child comment hurts more despite the lack of malicious intent because it is pure truth that cuts to the core

two dumb guys having a serious discussion trying to figure out what the dogs playing poker were talking about satarizing conversations in pretentious art galleries.

The purpose of pain is toredirect and focus your brains attention towards recovering a malady

nuremberg

what is the biggest crime you could forgive yourself for?

a measure of abstractness. could you describe it to a dog?

the mother of invention

why didn't a slave invent the cotton gin

funeral dirge

howlin wolf "goin down" great dirge

The problem with dating is that the ideal mate is the person who evokes the strongest positive emotion within you. Smile, come in your pants. But someone who has that emotion power over you in the positive direction also has it in the negative direction. Whenever you see an ex its like the opposite of coming in your past

hologram elvis on tour

borat meets rodney dangerfield

Movie

Movie about world with only men. Or a movie where everybody is the same person so i can act every role like a Eddie Murphy/john malkovitch he sees everything he hates about himself, then everything he loves about himself. (modest mouse centered soundtrack, doors,

wasnt me

shaggy stole from eddie murphy, "wasnt me"

to read music turn script sideways like a muslim

come out on stage like eddie murphy in leather and lights, but then tell jokes like stephen wright. (what would this characters name be?)

questions for comedians. Which stand up specials were especially significant?

i need to learn sean's more reasonable uninhibited qualities

disgust is an over ratted emotion, I try to never feel or express it. ask joe rogan how he feels about the emotion of disgust.

"instead of yo i heard dat" "yo i seen dat" "yo i felt that dat" "yo i smelled dat" "yo i tasted that"

why don't we just have our students read the common core requirements. All we would have to teach them is how to decipher this educational jargon, and the rest is laid out so straightforward that im sure they could figure it out. Or, if you want to still spread it out over a year, just have one day dedicated to each standard. (connect to next post)

when teaching the more layers of meaning and significance you can layer the stronger each moment is. You might have things that are significant on the scale of the whole year, and some that are only significant day to day. Therefore it would be optimally significant (and flexible) to move away from the daily significance toward the annual.

comprehensive lesson for kids. have them attempt to create their own language, steared through socratic method. provides different perspective.

A=B=C=D

what is the optimal ratio for a grade differential. Is it a normal distribution?

socratic language

have to make language like english, in class, and for homework make languge that does not conform to english standards. can customize requrements for individual students with greater range by not creating a cieling. being able to identify the wrong ansers is a skill sometimes more valuable than finding the write ones becaus ehter is only one right answer and infinate incorrect

Im as depressed as a bald wolly mammoth

2 year old interview style. After initial question ask why until end of interview/p>

Todd glass is a modern janus

will james talks to teachers on psychology is my gospel

Tantrums at school vs home

How people act different in different environments eg some and school. Eg defiance levels, confidence what humiliates us

I read the 48 laws of power 48*48 times.

I road from my house here on a unicycle. Actually that's technically not true, i road a third of the way here on a unicycle then half way here on a bicycle and then on my unicycle i road back the way i came 5/12 of the way turned around and road the rest of the way to this stage. That's doesn't sound like a good joke because the people who enjoy it are too busy checking my math. That's why no one was laughing

Comedian who fits through niche pandering in a hopeless attempt to discover his current audience

i got married by an andy kauffman elvis impersenater

todd glass album

todd glass should put out a album that is all todd glass parodies of songs

tragic flaw

a character who can only fall in love with the terminally ill, a tragic flaw

bicken back

gay bar joke replace taxes with affectation of specific audience member, segue into bit about fear of following signs of unknown culture, like learning about crips and bloods

antiracist

character who is a racist but has the exact opposite of conventional stereotypes. complain about the generosity of jewish people. Had dinner with a black guy and a jew and we paid seperate, so i had to tip 35% just so I dndn't look stingy. I went to brazil and ot schooled at basketball, they were all dunking on me, im talkin like 20% of basekts were ally-oops. I walked into a gay bar and everyone was doing their taxes.

Marie antionette

The other day i was trying to make a sandwich but i was out of bread so i took marie antoinet’s advice and I used cake instead. I'm not going back. You'll know what I'm talking about after you've had a nice salami sandwich between two slices of chocolate cake. Yesterday i had a tuna on funfetti. They say an apple pie without some cheese is like a kiss without a squeeze but add some turkey and you start to understand American pie from a different perspective

Hypothetically if you were to guess a woman's weight is it better to guess under or over. Cause if you guess under its like, oh i didn't think you were a fat pig but now that i have this new information  i guess you are. But if you guess over its like; oh i thought you were a fat pig. Oh your not oh my mistake i thought you looked like a fat pig but i guess that's just how you look. Don't worry you look way fatter than you really are.

ask little kids what they think about big issues for a unique limited perspective, hosted at neighborhood park/playground