What you choose to say that appears to be an attempt to convince another is actually a projection of your own insecurities. You are justifying, rationalizing and reinforcing your own opinions to yourself.

I am virulently in favor of semitism

write a bill burr "no sympathy" bit

how many blind people are deaf? vise versa?

floor lights vs ceiling lights

what do I need a fit bit for? I can get walkamatic for a $1 out of the back of a comic book

funny storytelling=standup. what if the objective were a slightly different emotion

i used to work for comcast but they fucked me so to get them back, I kept my id number and i can reconfiure like 30% of peoples accounts so that they pay less. Come see me on one of my buddies and we'll see if we can hook you up and fuck over comcast.