I like Yasser sarawan because he has a great smile when he wins

The test to get into heaven is too hard. Only babies can pass.

hire a Hitman to kill you immediately after your baptism. Afterlife hack

I want to die Young because I don't want to be old in heaven.

How far into my day before I sin?
Wake up to my alarm clock, hit the snooze button. Sloth.

Heaven is filled with babies and born again Christians five minutes after their baptism.

Who from history is in heaven and who is in hell?