God and goodness are synonymous.

Oh my God

Oh my goodness

My favorite step in drug addiction is selling family heirlooms

I only n Ed one piece of information to make a nickname. 

Now sir, do you enjoy... Sexual activity?

Alright your nickname is Jergins

Laci godiva

When was the last time you sharpened a pencil?

I think 99% of all pencil sharpening is superfluous

I thought I just had the strongest bladder of all time.

sell pez on the street one at a time