The back of my hand isn't the body part I'm most intimately familiar with

Whats more important to halloween, candy or costumes

A sweater is just a giant knot.

If you like "N'Sync" you might like "The Backstreet Boys"

Snap button pants

Bah humbug for other holidays

My name is Birthday.

Breathing is hard to do wrong

Responsibility is a price you pay for success

Han solo jacket

Talk show with two hosts

A show called Joe or Franklin where everyone's name is either Joe or Franklin

A show called Joe where everyone's name is Joe.

I can forgive myself for not being able to make the audience laugh

Bells and whisles are bad

Guy who doesn't say any bad words except for the n word

I'm not taking off no Abraham Lincoln Wednesday. Mlk was born on a Monday let's go with that. If only he had the forsight to be born in February

Do you think being a boy is easier than being a girl?

The power of secrets

Guys don't have purses because they couldn't stop swinging them around

If you have a vendetta with parking meters, have ever eaten 50 eggs, or smoke cigarettes

Guinness record for eating weird things

I want friends who have scores to settle with meter maids

Is there a website for petitions that I could e-sign?

Are serial killers getting better or are they not being made as much anymore

Aaron sorkin's labyrinth

Boredom is a perspective