Arkansas is so unimpressive, their capitol is little rock, they couldn't even get a medium sized rock?

The ground is better than the ocean

When sailors reach land after weeks at sea they kiss the ground.

The main thing I don't like about swimming in the ocean is that you get so wet.
Like maximum wetness.
I mean I went in the ocean this one time, I was soaked.

It's a whole different ground when you're on a boat, gotta get a whole new set of legs. You see, sea legs work on land but land legs don't work that well at sea.
If you have the wrong set of legs when you're at sea, you might vomit.

I had straight A's in school.

Did you graduate from Egg school?