When people say they are from Germany, respond like Korea and ask east or west.

I woke up last night to the sound of thunder. How far off I sat and wondered. Started humming a song from 1962.

Ain't it funny how the night moves?

No one laughed? Damn that lying Bob segar bastard.

An oversized apple is a sign that the sugars have transferred to carbohydrates sacrificing sweetness for size.

Are you listening New York?

I wanna write a book but put it in size 28 font so it's 1500 pages.

The ground is cold, and hard.

The ground is too hard but it's kindof our fault for walking on it for a million years

What animal has the worst scream

This dude is so nonchalant, he's laid all the way the way back. He's casual to a T.

He's a casualty of war.

Casualties of war seems pretty nonchalant.

I got in an accident this weekend, now I have scissors for a hand. And what's worse is it's not even cool like Edward scissor hands. I just got the handle end. I can still open it, but not as useful. And even way less useful than a real hand.

the good side of the scissors where I could do some cutting. It's the handle end. And what's even worse? Right handed scissors, which you would think would be good for a right hand, but not if