Sports anouncer character who is always paing attention to what the bench is doing

You know how the stereotype for stoners is watching tv lounging in a overplush couh, eatin nacos or some other garbage.
You know your  when you realize you've been watching tv from your kitchen cause you went to get food but now your stuck inbetween making sure your food doesn't catch on fire and you can still pay attention to shaq

When people "thank god" its metaphisical nature seems out of place next to frinds  family. "I'd like to thank divine interruption,"

Wood brim hat. Sat Essay prompt. What is clutch?
Apply spaghetti theory to standardized testing.