Gentle Reminder

Your body needs to be reminded that you want to use it in certain ways

Miranda rights are there for cops to remind themselves criminals are allowed to remain silent

The s***** City Association

I want to be the most famous person with my name but that's tough with a name like James so I'm changing my name to shitty-shitty-fuckface. Because even if there were parents in history mean enough to name their child that, they would change their name as soon as they were legally allowed. Which means by default i will be the greatest shity shity fuckface who ever lived. I won't even need a last name like Aristotle or cher. Because i will be the de facto

Youthful Exuberance

Have you ever gone to a school playground to see if you can recapture some of your youthful enthusiasm for life and you just realize how much more exercise you used to need as a kid

First Name Basis

I work at a place where we wear name tags. It's weird when someone you've never met before call's you by your first namey

I should wear a name tag all the time so that it is easier for other people to approach me.

I feel like jet skis are for b****** just like horses
Cause that motion is not great for a guy who has balls

I attempted to add to my vocabulary but I and abandoned the aspiration after the letter A. As an aftereffect I have an awfully apparent affinity for apples

Have you ever told a lie that isn't a lie, yet. Like did you take the garbage pit before its too late? You say yes when you haven't done it with the intention of following through before you are found out

Mary hartman meets the big bang theory