Grandparents have the worst candies

Like electric vehicle parking space but only if your car was Ford

I'm not smart, I just ask questions to smart people and remember what they say

movie that starts with plato quote, (the beginning is the most important part) opening scene a man slowing gathering the supplies to commit suicide by hanging. pan out and see house on a truck that is going off a hill, then pan out and a nuclear bomb goes off at the same time.

What is funny er a smart guy or a dumb guy Heart of gold safe Socrates didn't have a crest The thing I like about Canada is its majestic purple mountains and its shining seas

20% americans die in icu A recent Canadian study of elderly hospitalized patients at high risk of dying revealed that most patients (76%) had thought about end-of-life (EOL) care, and only 12% preferred life prolonging care

You will each have nicknames based on my favorite comedy movies jackass Dumb and Dumber the jerk

What are the consequences of appeasement?  Just as Nevil Chamberlain. Fuckin Hitler. Never give an inch.

Diagramming sentences with Virginia wolf

Whenever a guy says "the wings are actually pretty good" when talking about Hooters, he has to accompany it with raised shoulders

do I believe in one god the father and the almighty creator of heaven and earth? No. Do I believe that Jesus was one of the great moral philisophers and I think about his teachings every day? Then yes. Do I also think about the teachings of Socrates, Camus and Barney the DInasaour every day? Yes

Doug would rather be shot than play an NFL game

NFL waterboy takes his work home with him, squirts water in wife's mouth when watching a movie

Router bit for led strip hidden in backing

Peanut butter mayo and lettuce sandwich

Return of the sockeye

This comic got me hooked like I'm a rainbow trout and it's a purple wholly bugger. Like I'm a steelhead and it's a downrigger with a 2 foot flasher.

If the video poker machines didn't make so much noise a casino would be easily quiet. Rows and rows of people silent in front of screens. No social interaction or communication. A thousand people playing video poker and three silent blackjack players.

Locals play video poker. The casino up the street is for people from out of town. On a Monday at noon, the security guard at the entrance knows almost everyone there.

Worst songs to hear in the bathroom of a casino during a moment of sobriety:

Video of people's faces as they leave a casino. Interviews at the busstop

My least favorite end to a sentence is "and why" because it just turned a 5 second question into a minute and a half.

It means you have to respond in full sentences which means at least five words.

I used to copy the sentence format all the way down the paper.

How many people would number all the homework problems on the side of the paper before you started solving. Just so you could convince yourself that you were working without having to think.

Example homework problems with "and why"

What in your life is absurd. You can't understand why the world doesn't play by logical rules?