Does shit by any other name still smell as bad?

I hate people who judge others for one quality. And hypocrites.

An all female pirate ship

Addicted to the ridiculous. Suspicious of the superfluous.

Are banana peels even slippery?

Go funk and wagnalls yourself

I don't once played to an audience of 20,000 people. I did a 20 minute set on an I-5 overpass. I think a lot of it went over people's heads.

How do you not eavesdrop?  You can't close your ears like you can your eyes.

Did you hear that they are thinking of changing the order of the alphabet so that it matches the order on a keyboard?

Im surprised tonya harding situations don't happen way more often

You know when it's raining and you see a worm halfway across the sidewalk. Where's it going? And how come there's so many of them? Do birds not eat worms anymore? You'd think a rainy day would be a birds favorite day. "you mean I getto sleep in?"

Equality! More female cab drivers.

It's not ok to hit a woman but what about spitting on her face?

Cockburn Town is the capital city of the Turks and Caicos Island

Wow, you write like Emily Dickinson, or  Emily Dick in Mouth.

Make udders go to word

Who signed your shoes?
George Thurgood and Venus Di Milo.

Man on the street interview, pretend to be a blind interviewer. Go up to a group of girls, ask their name and then ask who has the biggest tits. Then ask her all the questions.

Debate podcast

You can tell if someone has messy hair or if they are just going for the "messy hair"  look by how baggy their clothes are.

Nationalist joke
I cant take a country seriously that has... On their money

Canada: Maurice Richard

I growing up thinking that it takes more muscles to smile than it does to frown. I blame my depression on a motivational poster misprint.

Vinko bogataj

They should call red delicious red not delicious

Fake medium psychic act

If Gatorade is such a great thirst quencher why do they sell it in such large bottles?

I like to learn, I like to educate myself you know. Get smart. You know what I learned recently? Cunt, is a bad word. I thought it was a good word. Where have I been?