Im as depressed as a bald wolly mammoth

2 year old interview style. After initial question ask why until end of interview/p>

Todd glass is a modern janus

will james talks to teachers on psychology is my gospel

Tantrums at school vs home

How people act different in different environments eg some and school. Eg defiance levels, confidence what humiliates us

I read the 48 laws of power 48*48 times.

I road from my house here on a unicycle. Actually that's technically not true, i road a third of the way here on a unicycle then half way here on a bicycle and then on my unicycle i road back the way i came 5/12 of the way turned around and road the rest of the way to this stage. That's doesn't sound like a good joke because the people who enjoy it are too busy checking my math. That's why no one was laughing

Comedian who fits through niche pandering in a hopeless attempt to discover his current audience

i got married by an andy kauffman elvis impersenater

todd glass album

todd glass should put out a album that is all todd glass parodies of songs

tragic flaw

a character who can only fall in love with the terminally ill, a tragic flaw

bicken back

gay bar joke replace taxes with affectation of specific audience member, segue into bit about fear of following signs of unknown culture, like learning about crips and bloods

antiracist

character who is a racist but has the exact opposite of conventional stereotypes. complain about the generosity of jewish people. Had dinner with a black guy and a jew and we paid seperate, so i had to tip 35% just so I dndn't look stingy. I went to brazil and ot schooled at basketball, they were all dunking on me, im talkin like 20% of basekts were ally-oops. I walked into a gay bar and everyone was doing their taxes.

Marie antionette

The other day i was trying to make a sandwich but i was out of bread so i took marie antoinet’s advice and I used cake instead. I'm not going back. You'll know what I'm talking about after you've had a nice salami sandwich between two slices of chocolate cake. Yesterday i had a tuna on funfetti. They say an apple pie without some cheese is like a kiss without a squeeze but add some turkey and you start to understand American pie from a different perspective

Hypothetically if you were to guess a woman's weight is it better to guess under or over. Cause if you guess under its like, oh i didn't think you were a fat pig but now that i have this new information  i guess you are. But if you guess over its like; oh i thought you were a fat pig. Oh your not oh my mistake i thought you looked like a fat pig but i guess that's just how you look. Don't worry you look way fatter than you really are.

ask little kids what they think about big issues for a unique limited perspective, hosted at neighborhood park/playground

teachers with eyes in the back of their head

how would a school child experience paranoia

Man burka

Proposition to men: unite and create law that all men are required to wear full burkas all the time. This would increase our sexual allure and shift the balance of power

Christian comedy is an open market, also business

12 angry men/expendables

movie like expendables but with all old tough silent guy actors, philip baker hall, rip torn, clint eastwood, christopher walken, sean connery, robert duvall, gene hackman, tommy lee jones, denzel washington, nick cage,

Old guy actor as child actors

dog seat

what would be the most ergonomic car seat for a dog

TOpic to expand: the way dads hide ignorance from their children, what is the most responsible perspective? give an example of action for dads

i tried to get into nursing but I guess there's more to it than just sucking on tits

memory

how many people here have farted today? What? You don't remember?

My stand us style should be the most different basis tangents I can pull. Be know for quick disperate perspectives

I don't understand how people can have a child before they experience their own personal existential crisis.

I want to make a stand up special with cuts to an audience not laughing

stanford prison

if you could prove that the prison system is inherently cruel(exe zimbardo), how would our justice system be forced to change?

if i had $1,000,000

inspire different high class brand than current rap schemas. exe rolls to a austin martin (define next level personalized swag, how I would flaunt money) go to nebighorhood and buy shit for kids etc.) chorus involves being rich but showing extreme flashes of subtly, matching video

7

7 deadly sins 7 song album providing empathitic perspective to those who have fallen to wicked deeds revealing forgivness is always possible

the internets taking away all our good streetcorner bootlegging jobs

Why don't we design book covers that allow us to judge books, at least on a basic level like age or genra.

If you could be stuck as one age forever, which would you choose?

Eugene v debbs

As long as there is a a lower class I am in it as long as there is a criminal element I am of it as long as there's a soul in prison I am NOT free

visible for a second

as i walk through the city i am invisible, crossing pathe of thousands and insantly forgotten, invisible two seconds ago

juneau?

dumb italian trying to solve a crossword puzzle at a bar? Yo, the capital of alaska who knows it? Juneau? Juneau? Juneau, the capitol of Alaska. He buddy, Juneau, juneau? The capitol of Alaska! come on, who knows it. ok, starts with a j, its got (count on fingers) 6 letters, starts with a j, juneau, juneau, come one someone's gotta know this we aint all dumb guys over here, juneau? (continue until every person has been asked)

white male

Im a racist, im also a sexist, which basically means im a white male. You know how children don't know not to point at people and call them fat or stare at a chick with big tits. being a man is like being a child. have you ever seen a guy on the street do a catcall. (example) and how does the girl respond, (you sexist pig!). and she's right but what she doesn't understand is that every guy in the world is a sexist pig. Just like how we all have that inner child who wants to run around the candy store, every guy has a sexist inner child. But there's two ways to learn how to grow, punishment and reward. girls, have you ever not give a little something to your man as punishment for not doing something earlier in the day. You aren't changing who he is, you are just making him be what he's not.

sarah mclachlan

have you heard about the new sarah mclachlan commercials? the ones that try to get you to donate money by sing a sad song an showing pictures of abused animals? well it looks like she extended her efforts to now include abused women, its a combo charity, pictures of dogs and women who were abused.

peanuts

i have a packing peanut allery, I can't use anything that has been shipped.

more land

Problems with the world's design if supposed to be built for humans: too much water. I mean 75% here's an idea, how about more land!? and none of that ice shit up north either that doesn't count, im talkin throw an extra couple islands in the bahamas.

i believe in...

I believe in god, just not the god that any of you fools are buying into

why don't they make food that's good for you taste good, where did those evolutionary channels cross paths?

cursed that all of your dreams come true

rediculous king perspectve. exe. if they don't have bread then why don't they just eat cake?

fly wars

a short story that starts off like the metamorphisis but after becoming a fly, use superio intellect to incite rebellion.

adam sandler

make a website called awesomeo.com that is a random movie plot idea always involving adam sandler.

a short story that starts off like the metamorphisis

my favorite song in the world used to be the ice cream truck, but then one time i met a guy who told me that was his job for 4 years and now he doesn't have a summer memory without it playing in the background so now i have mixed feelings about a song that use to symbolize pure goodness

what is the ignorant perspective? -saying no is an excuse to remain ignorant