TV Guide

I just got a job working for the TV guide network. Yeah I have to turn the crank to make the channels go by like old school car windows. Does anyone use the TV guide network anymore. Every cable or satellite company has that ability built into their remote, you don't need to wait anymore. You just want to see what channel (exaggerated TV show based on type of audience, eg real housewives of atlanta). But no you had to wait 5 minutes while it tell you whats on all the movie channels and the government access or the (exaggerated TV show in opposite direction based on type of audience eg 5 million sports channels, I mean seriously how many games can you watch, mimic guy trying to futilely explain)
and while its going through they try to entertain you with (example exaggerated to audience eg. 80s movies fuckin 16 candles or some other molly ringwald John huges bratpack garbage) which honestly wouldn't be to bad, I actually really like breakfast club I'm not sure why I said that, anyways, it wouldn't be too bad except the bottom third of the screen is taken up by the fuckin crank machine that is really the only reason you're on the channel anyway. So maybe my arm gets tired and the reel starts to just creep along so you think you have enough time to go to (something crazy eg. shoo those bats out of the kitchen. What always happen's? right when you get back it passed over the channels you were looking for. So you sit, you promise that you will pay attention and not leave but the next time it comes around you aren't paying attention cause your dancing with Emilio and Judd (pantomime). By the time you actually find out the channels and the times you already missed whatever you wanted to watch. Whatever, at least it means now I can write some jokes from girls, half the guys here missed all those references I just made and half the girls were impressed with these moves.