Bring back the haypenny

"the only thing you should put in your ear is your elbow wrapped in a turkish towel"- Francis Fitzmaurice

What if every 4 years you had to get elected to keep your job. And you had to get other people to fund your campaign. How would this motivate employees. How would different election processes have different motivational skews? What is the electing body, what are candidates judged by, are there parties and how influential are party lines? What is the org chart within the business, of the business within the market sector?
How would political parties translate to businesses.

What business sector should I choose. One where the task of the job has as little affect on the plot of the story. Accounting? Grisham did law.

Write in alice and wonderland, gogol, absurdist beaurocracy style.

Its stereotypical for a teenager to be embarrassed by their parents, but they are actually embarrassed by themselves and their parents pride and publicizing is interpreted as publicizing of shame.

Dan Sanders

eric sean

sure i'd like to talk politics but first i'd like to establish that I am against a bicameral legislature i think that bicameral legislature is enough to make 90% of people not listen to the end of this sentence.

What is the most difficult psychological aspect of being a slave.

Mating season

animal have seasons when they have sex, for human's its open season. can you imagine if you could only fuck between march and june? Well, its spring time, and you know what that means, animals get to have sex. Can you imagine if you could only have sex between April and August? Do you know what that first day of "mating season would be like after 8 months of pent up frustration? Can you imagine how much you would get done during those other months if you just knew that any chance of sex was off the table. And how much time you would invest in making sure that you were ready when mating season came around. You'd make as much money as you can for those 8 months just so you could blow it during mating season like college kids on spring break. you see it's still part of our nature, we as humans aren't above it, we are part of nature. There's this phenomenon I've noticed. At the beginning of of the warm season you wear your most revealing clothes and get a base tan line and then you wear progressively less and less revealing clothes until its Christmas Eve and you can't put your arms down. When mating season was over we would eat like bears storing up for hibernation. Compare and contrast mating I think France might be like this already. Everyone in France takes at least 2 months off in the summer, and knowing those dirty french I can't imagine the dirty things they do.

sour is the taste of Russia

Are you interested in my one word first impression of you? No? Alright, I'mma be around for a little while, if you change your mind come find me,, my name is James. but so you know it is a compliment.

Bill vs Bob

Bill Burr and Bob Kelly say the exact same things except bill says it like hes the quarterback in a huddle and bobby tells it like Pavaratti. "Gk dude here's what you need to do, its fuckin over dude. Go straight back, and tell that animal to pack up their things, it's fuckin over. Dump em' by the side of the road and move on with your day. Just think, in two hours it will all be over and you can have a beer/cake." the difference is bill then goes "but you know I'm just some dumb comic, you probably shouldn't listen to me." and bob will turn around and slip on a banana peel. "you know what dude, all you need to do is eat a banana in the morning get some potassium in ya, take your dog for a walk get those fuckin wheel in motion."

Sausage

All I need to eat is the grind, the meat, the spice, the heat. Life ain't sweet, it's savory. So you should savor each beat of the heart, and every spark you breath into flame that beats back the dark.

All I need to eat is the meat and the cleaver. The rest? Y'all can leave it to Beaver.

I believe in wherewolves. Have you heard of The Island of Dr Moreau? What about Josef Mengele? And how do you think modern medicine compares with 1942?
Expand premise to modern day sci-fi in an "exercise in youthful blasphmy"
Island of taboo/blasphmy? Human mutation? Genetically modified humans? Early human genetic experiments? Photosynthesis (violet you're turning violet) transexuals, extra-sensory? What are the limitations? Cyborg or bio-mechinacal? Can only affect a certain percentage of the genome. Conflict, scientist is on the verge os a potentually nefarious but well intentioned breakthrough but gets trapped by his own creation (frankenstein, nobel, heart of darkness)
Cyborg Moreau?
What is the perspective of the main character/limited narrator? Heart of darkness or frankenstein, (what is the fear, being mutated (loss of identity) or losing control?)? What about gattica? Planet of the apes? Which would be better for Paul Allen? What if I wrote four short stories, Frankenstein/Jurassic Park, apocolypse now, planet of the apes, and gattica?
Lord of the flies, black stallion? Constitutional Convention?

Hms beagle for 2, black stallion, frankenstein, jurassic park, island of dr moreau, apocolypse now, lord of the flies, x men, constitutional convention, planet of the apes, gattica.
Each chapter from a different character's perspective.

Avatar?

Kiss my little elephant dick before I'm celebate. Sell a brick and fiddle in hell just for the hell of it.

Anne Mcclain is my schwartz cousin

Keith Robinson is a schtumping Danny Glover

Ka-baller

Amish character who turns 18 in 2080. The reader learns about the future through innocent ignorant eyes.

Name your daughter "Mom" and it will be more difficult for boys to think of her sexually... or she'll marry a Pavlovian pervert

ask politicans at debates to compare and contrast two distinct stances on an issue. not looking for thier opinion but thier rational ability

As the ability to answer questions becomes ubiquitous, the ability to ask questions becomes increasingly pertinent.
"specific knowledge is the cheapest ........" napoleon hill

tracy morgan "legendary"

ghengis kublai and james caan

In what ways are these activities different? Reading something you wrote, Reading something someone else wrote

Im on the red tie team

Gouverneur Morris would support trump. Businessmen should be the politicians because they run the country anyway so at least it would be more in the open.

God is Great, God is Good; Let us thank Him for our food allahu akbar allahu good, let us thank him for our food

mcleary supreme court case stranger article update

What you choose to say that appears to be an attempt to convince another is actually a projection of your own insecurities. You are justifying, rationalizing and reinforcing your own opinions to yourself.

I am virulently in favor of semitism

write a bill burr "no sympathy" bit

how many blind people are deaf? vise versa?

floor lights vs ceiling lights

what do I need a fit bit for? I can get walkamatic for a $1 out of the back of a comic book

funny storytelling=standup. what if the objective were a slightly different emotion

i used to work for comcast but they fucked me so to get them back, I kept my id number and i can reconfiure like 30% of peoples accounts so that they pay less. Come see me on one of my buddies and we'll see if we can hook you up and fuck over comcast.

pitching bad sketches jake and amir style

Mr rogers visits a rap studio. everyone is cordial but uses rap lingo.

what would life be like if you lived by an Apophatic theology

charles barkley "interesting"

ask tj miller what he thinks about Gaulier's thought that the ideal performance for a bouffon would be one in which the audience was wildly entertained, went home, realized that their lives were meaningless and committed suicide.

the curry effect. number of long 3's taken during ncaa tourney compared to historic rates

bracket where calling upsets is worth double

emogi's used by passengers of 911...

Elvis sings Mr. Rogers

are most people good or bad? go up to 10 people on the street and ask them for the time

Erotic stories for the blind. Traditional porn doesn't work for the blind, neither do visual descriptors.

Tosh.0 for hbo or netflix. Any video goes

#1 1-2 punch: "rock bottom" to "people's elbow"

Person, place or thing? Arent people and places "things". Thing is the least descriptive word in the english language.