time machine games

pirate radio from the 20's that did audio porn

fucc friends song over friends intro video

james explains every joke (hurcules) (blazing saddles)

food fights are an evolutionary cure for depression

how many licks youtube channel

big, sol, camilla, anna, fernanda toe names

all ads podcast

Where do we all learn that immortality would be bad?

someone told me I look like Christopher Atkins from blue lagoon

cast iron peter pan 2

I was in Mexico and I tried to find a home depo. There was only one and it was shaped like a pentagon.

Tandem stilts

Front to back like a horse, or one on double top.

korchnoi mirror glasses

have you ever read a book and not used a bookmark, just been like, "I'll find it".

2020 the summer of hats

the alzheimer ward, where memories leave but they don't enter

if my son goes to school and cathces the coronavirus and dies can I sue the school

Who's the oldest child you know?( In a good way)

Uncle Bruce

The amount of exposition they give Yu-Gi-Oh is the amount I need for chess.

Can I get less front teeth from Santy Clause this year?

Did Jesus have all the classic signs of suicidal, always thinking of others and never himself, giving away all his possession, no one who really 'knows' him. Surrounded by yesmen, death at 33. Dying on the cross was like suicide by cop.

Did Doug Benson hit one year too early? Why the drop-off?

Is there more rape culture in Prison or Military?

Grandmother, what big cock you have. All the better to fuck you with my dear.

When I'm born again I want my first words to be "happy birthday" just like my hero, frosty the snowman

Thomas hells yefferson

Only the disabled (cripples) should be allowed to be musicians

A scrren door slammed in the distance and Alice's dog barked.

"Who is it?" Alice called out to what was assuredly no one

"No one of consequence!" She called back in a mock plaintive voice.

"Well that's certainly decidedly so. I've never meet anyone of consequence in all my life, the only people I meet are reactionaries. How doubly unlikely that a scrren door is actually a person and that person is some one of consequence! 

when are the search history leaks gonna come out?

Peanut butter on soles of feet have dog lick off

Never forget that's my motto. Me and 9/11 have the same motto. Me 9/11 and elephants. That's something that we all have in common.

i had a dream where someone shaved my beard and then blacked it out way thicker and no one believed me

Democrat need to come up with a great hat

I can piss in a pot I got shit in the pan.

The only way I'll retire is as the Michilian Man

Jokes about the difficulties of being a comedy club waitress

If there's a Holocaust museum there should also be an American slavery museum

"Made you look" label maker

Or graffiti

Message in a bottle

"Made you look" on the back of a resume

Made you look your guide

The secret police but it's all gossip.

If someone asks if I can do an impression do Peter Faulk, lazy eye "just one more thing, princess buttercup"

Speak Japanese "coconut, samurau

Bees are made 100% out of honey.

Like humans evolved from the primordial ooze, bees evolved out of honey.

What came first, the honey or the bee? The pollen needs the bee to become honey, but the been needs honey to live.

Too dirty to burn

How come I've never seen old buildings with the old racist plumbing?

One of the easiest things to remember is the play-by-play of a game you experienced. Especially a game in which you exhibit mastery. 

This is a reason chess grandmasters seem to have such impressive memories while the average NBA players exhibits a similar level of skill. 

How many virgins are on earth? Probably more than in heaven.

Borche is Short for abortion

"justice is a judgement that is both fair and forgiving"