Warren Buffett shops at borshimes in model of rick ross shopping

Warren Buffett as guest, inside look at his life. Lives like frat house/or lives like Rick Ross, use borshiems connection?

Shamwow millionaire

Character of hapless millionaire who made minor convenience. living a lavish life from the perspective of what a child would think a millionaire would do with their money

Did you know Starbucks is made from dead stars? Think about that next time

I went to Harvard

Not alot of people know this but I went to Harvard,,,  last weekend to throw rock at nerds. Dont tell on me,  not a lot of people know. Who woulda thought, the nerds bigggest weakness the geek kryptonite, ,, rocks. Sticks and stones may break my bones but nerds will never hurt me

I could whip out my dick, start pissing on the front row, and the people ib the back would just think its part of the act
Act out slightly incredulous back audience.
Then go back and forth between acting out front row getting pissed on

Stage Bathroom

Have you ever had to go to the bathroom on stage? The worst part,,, no privacy.
Have you heard about this bathroom on the streets of time square with oneway glass... I would masterbate.

Biggest fan

Biggest fan character, a giant person who is forced to be spokesperson for everything he likes because he becomes by default,  the biggest fan

Peer pressure hecklers

Explain to hecklers how peer pressure works acknowledge their punk ability to rise above and get them to use their powers for good like laughing at the show.
If doesn't work use peer pressure againts them.

Qr on business card

Qr code on business card that uploads contact information

I can only eat standing up.
Eat food gratuitously

Come out with popcorn and watch audience like a movie

Different food I've tried on stage and why they did/n't work, exe milk duds, chili.

Sometimes people complain when I eat in front of them, that I'm making them hungry (exaggerate how much enjoying the food)

They did not think I was funny at my last gig,,, at the soup kitchen or homeless sheler old folks home prison,,,,,,,,,it was a 3 hour long set so I had to bring a lot of food to keep up the bit for my act,,, I had a whole thanksgiving meal,,,, act out eating and them suffering and then comedically misplaced artistic justification

List of places my eating act would be inappropriate and how, old folks, bulimia, diabetes, funeral (food to loud, who has comedian at funeral anyway, actually I kind of like the idea but tough crowd)

Bit explaning circumstances creating and difficulties of having to perform comedy after funeral,,,, with loud food.

Dave attell drinking lesson

Defend from the position that I make fat people jealous, exe yeah, I can eat and still be skinny its called exercise and its all around you just have to look. You don't have to travel to china to find the special exercise temple where only true exercise can be accomplished, you dont need to by yoga mats and take special classess in (extreme example with own mini punchline), it can literally be anything, from chasing a ice cream truck to ___.  Ill tell you what Id do in jr high. (Food) I'd put on wrist weighs when I masterbated (food pause)
And (self imposed negative stimulation).
By sophmore year I looked like Popeye halfway through a can of spinach (act out popeye with only one arm poping)
To balance it out I ended up having to (?)

I hate to badmouth yoga because I love yoga pants and I think its worth pretending like I care about yoga if it means one more (type of girl) buys yoga pants.

Changing my last name to fitz. That way I can call my wife and daughters the misfitz.
My wife is only taking half of my last name, so I'm going to be a mr fitzmaurice and she's going to be a mrs fit.

I'm getting married and my wife and I decided something different,  instead of her changing to my last name me changing to hers or that hyphen bullshit (possibly tangent) we are both choosing a new last name. You know how difficult it is to choose a cilds name (make seem rediculously inconsiquential selfish and/or easy in comparison) examples of bad last names she wanted and I wanted (use her first and my middle initials as joke reveals. Eventually we decided on...

Comedian style where you eat food on stage. Used for comfortable pauses setting up expectation pause and twist.  Benefits include, food promotion , get to eat food, origional, character defining, easily shed, sourse of jokes, add layer to jokes, creates an introduction topic (possibly delayed for additional affect), something to do during heckelers, bring unexpected food out from pockets, topic of any food you bring (relatability)

Polly wanna, dahli lamma

The forest gump of farting at inappropriate times in history.  Exe, rosa parks was just trying to get away from the smell

A parable with parabolic structure

Ask a politician what is better to vote for a poorly made law whose philosophy you agree with or vote against it and wait for a revision

Always worst case scenario,  the world ends. Little kid afraid of jumping in pool, mom says what's the worst that could happen. He jumps in and the world explodes

Sperm whales eat a ton of giant squid everyday

Inside outside

Store that sells stuff for inside and outside a la bed bath and beyond

Iceberg Jim

"no sweat" "you don't know me" more idioms per inch than... http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jean_Genet

I feel one of the best ways to learn is allegorically true true life stories

Every thought

" I think I've thunk just about every thought there is in one way or another"
Let me give me you an example I was arguing with my friend Bill he said this and I said that and then I went to the library and I read plato and Socrates and Plato said this Socrates said that it's all the same man

Scale of sin

A scale of sin where you compare sins like sexuality verse incest

After set up of basic weeken at bernie premise, the remainder is carried out as character driven.
Which characters
Guy who want to grab what he can and mak a run, maybe a series of guys making this decision and bailing. These can be used later to come bc sck with plot resources.
People who want to sit tight and figure out

Maybe a note hidden in plain sight with a clue none can read

How 2 win friends

How to win friends and influence people class unexpectedly taught by polar opposite of Carnegie,  possibly trump or p diddy

W2nd paragraph,  blatant dick suck/explination of how louies style is perfect for kids say. Understands importance of seriousness.  Charctoer is ignorant sounding bouard who audience learns through.

Force kids to improv thoughts they xant have thought yet that most adults have.

Top 10 podcast

Get a guest and decide a top ten list. Maybe a different number for a pun title.
What are the rules for lists.
Fitzmaurice top 4 list

Talk show

Heavy topics like, how do you deal with death

Baby stand-up

An infant doing stand-up. Pun

Stand up has been easy for me for a long time. I started when I was 2 and back then the hardest part was just standing up, jokes were always easy

Typical hypocritical

Explanation of hypocrisy behind enjoyment of watching your siblings being punished by parent

Gay Prison

Sketch Idea: a gay only prison. Two directions which each should be guided by sexual explict allowances. 1 everybody is hsppy as and its a gay paradise (shallow).  2 examine the social hierarchy of an all male, homosexual society. (Oz level tv show deep)

Seperate idea: gay prison group that runs the yard cause they rule with the intimidation of rape that can't be used against

Forgive all actions, not motives

I can forgive or understand any action if I imagine the best motivation

Door to door boyfriend

Door to door salesman for becoming a boyfriend to find introverted girls

In and out

fit in an outfit

Fight fire

Firefighters that fight fire with fire due to misinterpreted political advice

Good morning America

A succession of rival shows move in on morning show ny street space

Gravity escalate

Down escalate should be powered by gravity

Night mare

Goodnight colt  good night foal, good night mare

Forrest gump

A forrest gump/hot fuzz style action movie where rediculous action scenes are happening all around him. He has to deal with the repercussions left in action heroes wake
Exe, has to be witness for insurance claim,  late for work because of car accident/chase,

Dog tags

Is it legal to tatoo your dog?

Karate kid Halloween costume shower

The ground is the only thing preventing humans from flying

elephant rhino hippo zebra horse alligator crocodile lion tiger grizzly bear black bear polar bear panda bear cow kangaroo giraffe wildebeest American bison water buffalo anaconda boa constrictor Jaguar boar walrus elephant seal bighorn sheep mountain goat dog wolf cougar emu gorilla chimpanzee orangutan howler monkey human  hyena donkey elk moose reindeer llama alpaca one hump two hump camel

Story where each character is a drug. Opening credits over each one consuming in appropriate way and environment

Walter fakes his own death at the end to escape

Teach kids to write raps in scool, it is on of the most difficult written mediums. You wrote the book I was going to write. Mib was written under the guise of a how to for rappers in attemp to be more direct.   Did your organization allow more specific exaples? It interesting that the people who would want to become therapists are the opposite of the kinds of people who need it.

Acount for that

We are blessed for the ability to account for numbers we cannot count, allows us to see farther than we can touch.

Monkey Ear

Barrel of monkey earrings or necklace

Nipsey

Nipsey Russel dating girls that are wrong song intro