I can only eat standing up.
Eat food gratuitously

Come out with popcorn and watch audience like a movie

Different food I've tried on stage and why they did/n't work, exe milk duds, chili.

Sometimes people complain when I eat in front of them, that I'm making them hungry (exaggerate how much enjoying the food)

They did not think I was funny at my last gig,,, at the soup kitchen or homeless sheler old folks home prison,,,,,,,,,it was a 3 hour long set so I had to bring a lot of food to keep up the bit for my act,,, I had a whole thanksgiving meal,,,, act out eating and them suffering and then comedically misplaced artistic justification

List of places my eating act would be inappropriate and how, old folks, bulimia, diabetes, funeral (food to loud, who has comedian at funeral anyway, actually I kind of like the idea but tough crowd)

Bit explaning circumstances creating and difficulties of having to perform comedy after funeral,,,, with loud food.

Dave attell drinking lesson

Defend from the position that I make fat people jealous, exe yeah, I can eat and still be skinny its called exercise and its all around you just have to look. You don't have to travel to china to find the special exercise temple where only true exercise can be accomplished, you dont need to by yoga mats and take special classess in (extreme example with own mini punchline), it can literally be anything, from chasing a ice cream truck to ___.  Ill tell you what Id do in jr high. (Food) I'd put on wrist weighs when I masterbated (food pause)
And (self imposed negative stimulation).
By sophmore year I looked like Popeye halfway through a can of spinach (act out popeye with only one arm poping)
To balance it out I ended up having to (?)

I hate to badmouth yoga because I love yoga pants and I think its worth pretending like I care about yoga if it means one more (type of girl) buys yoga pants.