Q: e:eggs as r:____
A: Redneck

Are bag-el and bag-ette brother and sister

Thomas Jefferson was pro terrorism. "I hold it that a little rebellion now and then is a good thing, and as necessary in the political world as storms in the physical."

Top 5 Biographies: The Rise of Theodore Roosevelt Surely You're joking Mr. Feynman Pimp Walden The Autobiography of P.T. Barnum

Album title: Pimping and Pandering

My new favorite cooking show is called food porn. It's 2 minute show that is only shown in the middle of 4 episodes of Wahlburgers on fyi.

I prefer lynyrd skynard to maya angelou

The objective of comedic acting should be to make the absurd seem more realistic

Jala pino grisio

A list of funny people to name your child after.
Gilgamesh
Rasputin
Tigger
Alvin (the chipmunk)
Bobcat
Kramer

Almost any rapper
Eminem
50
Twista
Trinidad
Timbaland
Biz
Swizz

Well thats the darndest thing since a pair of socks

China needs to go to war to even their gender ratio's out.

how did bob dylan get out of the mobile in the first place, for him to get trapped in it again?

Women think the gift of life is a power they posses, it is also a responsibility, an obligation, guys don't have a paternal clock. If you look at equations that determine population growth, the number of guys is not a factor. It doesn't matter if there is a billion guys, if there's only 7 girls... you're population is gonna grow at the same rate as if there was 1 guy and 7 girls.

Who buys "plus" gasoline?

There are people that I want to behave as I suspect them to, and there are people whom I love to be surprised by.

How has Bob Dylan's perspective on "the changing and passing over time" changed over time? How have his songs changed to him purely through perspective shift

people don't wear seat belts because they don't want to be reminded that that they could crash Like when Luke took a philosophy class. He didn't like philosophy because in class they were debating if not you would still be yourself if you died in a crazy motorcycle accident and had to get a new body. He used to want a motorcycle but now he doesn't.

3d magic eye video

"Where black is the color and none is the number, I met a young girl. She gave me a rainbow." - Bob Dylan

The reason there is such a tradition of jewish comedians is because jews are smarter than normal humans so they seek out more mentally stimulating entertainment than the hammer and bell that most of society leaps at.

What is the most intellectual mainstream? Depth x breadth
Computer nerds?
Engineers?
New Yorker subscribers?
Millionaires?
NPR listeners > 1h/w?
Jews?

Conservative abortion stance should be limited government involvement which is my opinion even though i personally believe it is morally wrong I believe people are entitled and should form their own morality.

People who think it is morally right to perform abortions because it is better for society, better for the potential guardians, and that child is spared a wretched life, shouldn't they also then logically believe in the death penalty for criminals serving life sentences.

Get mimi an outfit made from rice burlap sack

What were the Vegas odds on assassination for each presidential term

Louie and Cosby were #2 and #1 stand-ups in my mind at 20, because they were both the best at understanding children and using silence. Louie does a kids say the darnedest things tour, it can be serious Shoot it like "Todd Barry's Crowd Work Tour""Chris Rock- Kill The Messenger" with as much variation in kids and venues as possible

Im glad im not french or italian or people would know that Im drunk all the time. Thats probably why they kiss on the cheek as a hello. Typical italian mother, loving yet suspicious

When did superman ever "bound"? Doesn't he always fly?

"Things that put hair on your chest." - My grandfather Eating bread crust, Chopping wood, Whiskey, Watching hockey, Waking up early, Taking cold showers, Playing outside, Eating Wheaties with Cream, Shooting a gun, Sun on your back, Carrying heavy things.

Whiskey

Whiskey is a good name for a cat

when you are an adult you can buy a balloon at any time. Young children are baffled that this ability is not more frequently exercised. What if I walked around with a balloon all the time? What if I tied it to my back belt loop so it would float behind my head and then I would pretend I didn't know it was there.

All of a sudden I felt like I just got 3rd in the 200 in 68

Even in "Beach Boy", idealized america, there were still fights at the football game. "Some loud bragger tried to put me down. He said his school was great!"

My dog taught me how to win at staring contests. Lock eyes for 5 seconds and then bark.

It's much harder to think of things you don't know or things that you haven't seen or things that don't exist.

I've never seen someone wear denim overalls and a fresh white-t in the city

If i had a bar i would name it the hoosgow

Bicycle insurance should be mandatory

More vague than a vaugrant.

Confusion, questioning, persuasion, devaluation, dismissal, deception, avoidance, repentance/vindictive

Beauty an the BeastMode

Exactally as cool as the other side of the pillow

Hoary

Your clothes are awfully hoary today. (grayish white and old)

DON’T PAUSE, read like a run on sentance. Pace like a girl in exasperated mood swing monologue conversation.,

So?! How many of you have been enjoying the sun?!?!! Of course, I have too, but like, I’m soo pale right now. I burn like right away. If I'm outside for more than like 20 minutes at a time I would legit look like a lobster right now. I’m so glad my job has heat AND a/c so it's always, like, the perfect temperature. My skin would not make it if I had to work outside. I mean if I was a slave and I had to pick cotton in the sun all day? Ugh! my skin would get so sunburnt! and your chance of getting skin cancer can go up like 100% if it gets burnt more than 5 times. Plus, I love eating ice cream and you don't get any ice cream if you're slave. I mean I don’t even think they even give you gatorade!? I would be so dehydrated without my electrolytes! Ugh! When I get dehydrated I get really bad headaches, I don’t even want to think about it. If you're a slave I don’t think you get healthcare coverage, not even under Obama Care or if you lived in Cuba. I mean I don’t get dental at my office but I do get a good 401k but I don’t thinks slaves get any bennies like my friend Jenny, who works at Denny’s. She has to wear this ick tacky uniform even on casual Fridays. I guess that's a good thing about being a slave, its like, always casual friday. You just wear the same clothes every day. It would be kind of freeing not to have to choose what  to wear every day. When you're a slave you don't have to look pretty. It would be so nice not to have to do my hair do my in the morning. Actually, I would want to look as unpretty as possible because I wouldn't want to get raped. I mean that would be a major bummer if just because I'm so naturally hot that even with nappy hair all the boys would still want to rape me. Its a real curse being so beautiful. Not that most of YOU would understand.

I wouldn’t be able to read my magazines.

you know what would suck about being a slave? 1. No ice cream a. I love ice cream 2. No sunscreen a. My skin would be so sunburnt, and your chance of getting skin cancer can go up 100% if it gets burnt too many times! 3. No Gatorade a. I’m gonna be bummin without my electrolytes if I’m going to be working outside all day. 4. No retirement benefits a. What am I going to do when I can’t work 5. Aren’t allowed to read or right a. How am I going to know what happens in the next issue of superman b. How am I going to be able to follow the teachings of Jesus Christ i. I’m going to go to hell or at least limbo 6. If you are a girl you might be a sex slave a. Work on your back all day, ugh? My knees would be killing me. 7. Lashings a. Ouchie! 8. You don’t reap what you sow a. That’d be like working at target and then at the end of the week you don’t even a paycheck 9. Being called a nigger a. That would hurt my feelings a lot. 10. You get separated from your family a. Who’s gonna pay for all my stuff? i. My netflix!?

There’s a lot of bad things about slavery, but sometimes you gotta look on the bright side of life and find the silver lining on that cloud. 1. You get to be outside all day a. I have to work inside at my job, I’m not even by a window 2. Get in great shape a. Think how ripped your lats would be if you got to chop wood and dig ditches all day 3. Don’t have to make decisions a. I have so many decisions to make i. Should I get married and have kids? ii. What job should I get? iii. Where should I live? iv. When should I get up in the morning? v. What should I eat for breakfast? vi. How fast should I walk? 4. Dancing and singing with all your friends in spiritual harmony a. When we go to the club my friends never want to dance 5. Don’t have to pay rent a. My rent now is taking like half my paycheck

"You Know What the Worst Thing About Being a Slave Is? They Make You Work All Day but They Don't Pay You or Let You Go. "

poe

lay on your side and think you feel footsteps but then you realize it's just your heartbeat

I'm embarrassed by my dog's name. I call him something else around company so they don't know. When he doesn't respond I just say that he's stupid. Id rather have people think i have a stupid dog than a dog with a stupid name.

Bring back the haypenny

"the only thing you should put in your ear is your elbow wrapped in a turkish towel"- Francis Fitzmaurice

What if every 4 years you had to get elected to keep your job. And you had to get other people to fund your campaign. How would this motivate employees. How would different election processes have different motivational skews? What is the electing body, what are candidates judged by, are there parties and how influential are party lines? What is the org chart within the business, of the business within the market sector?
How would political parties translate to businesses.

What business sector should I choose. One where the task of the job has as little affect on the plot of the story. Accounting? Grisham did law.

Write in alice and wonderland, gogol, absurdist beaurocracy style.

Its stereotypical for a teenager to be embarrassed by their parents, but they are actually embarrassed by themselves and their parents pride and publicizing is interpreted as publicizing of shame.

Dan Sanders

eric sean

sure i'd like to talk politics but first i'd like to establish that I am against a bicameral legislature i think that bicameral legislature is enough to make 90% of people not listen to the end of this sentence.