I don't understand stores that keep regular business hours. You wanna buy shoes? You got money? Do you work a normal job? Sorry, not our demographic. We only cater to the unemployed.

Police newspaper.
Cop news

Why do clothes need tags?

Guinness breaks their records into weight classes.

Pay employees per hour to sleep.

A camels hump that stores sleep

Robert Caro on Edison power. Not the scientist but the power

autonomy, beneficence, non-maleficence and justice

Quote of the day on Facebook with explanation.

James beard

"Good bread is the most fundamentally satisfying of all foods; and good bread with fresh butter, the greatest of feasts."

I've been getting my James beard om more than any other period in my life.
Reading this quote makes me want to agree with it and since I try not to be a hypocrite that means good bread is on the horizon. Reading this quote, feels like a step in the process of eating. Not like being full and nor the feeling of Bread in the oven, a few hours away.

When I regulate what I eat quantity is easier than quality. A good Loaf of Bread is a simple meal compared to a sandwich. When is the last ut how many novels have I read where bread with cream is a pinnacle of satisfaction. Heidi, The Growth of the Soil and Russian short story are three that jump with immediacy.

Simple foods. Fruit apple bread.

A book of verse under the bough
A loaf of bread, a jug of wine and Thou.

I dislike looking for parking more than walking excessively long distances.

How many senators have been assassinated?

Matthew 5:44 love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you What is the action of praying for your enemies. Pray for them to do what? Pray that they can see the error of their ways, the harm they are doing, and that they seek forgiveness for their transgressions? Is there a typical wording or action that is "praying for those who persecute you?" If "this is how you should pray" “‘Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name, 10 your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. 11 Give us today our daily bread. 12 And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. 13 And lead us not into temptation,[j] but deliver us from the evil one. then how do you do that for someone?

You know what's cool? Rock overhangs. Especially if it's windy or rainy you can just stand by a wall with a rock overhang and your like a little bit protected. Not like all the way like being in a house or even as cool as being in a cave.
Now it looks like most of you aren't that impressed but I read a plaque at the museum that said "rock overhangs were popular as shelters during hunting trips 700 years ago"

People back then were like, you know where the new cool place to hang out is. That rock overhang, forget the club.

Elon musk bring back the world fair!

Shadow puppets in Antarctica

I don't like swimming in pools because I don't like the smell of chlorine. I think they should make swimming pools smell like cinnamon instead of chlorine.

Eat a plate of cinnamon rolls and people think I'm leading an active lifestyle.

If the earth is flat, what shapes is it. Why did the ancients assume "4 corners"

A guy who collects exotic animals so he won't get evicted

Lighter with add

People who complain about auto tune are the same people who complained when Dylan went electric.

Ice breaker question. Have you ever called 911?

What if we used a different person's death to measure every year

Name my Phoenix cinder ella

Ask John 3:16 people what begotten means

Tunnel skyscrapers?

Dude ranch doritos

When you buy a gun do you need to buy gun insurance?

I don't know what's been going on with the gluten market lately but they've been giving it away for free with all my favorite foods.

I think paying for gluten makes it taste better.

Most of my jokes are inside jokes so they might not work, after I blow the roof off this place!

Asked but never told Brave but never bold Bluff but never fold Shame but never scold Shook but never rolled Convinced but not cajoled Cool but never cold Win but never gold Always fit the mold

On average 1 every three rulers has been used to measure a penis.

Is it better to be a translator if your native language is the one you are translating from or the one you are translating to.

A draft is good for the church, not only because more people turn to god due to the war but more people would become members of the clergy/(female clergy?) to escape the draft.

"An entertainer tries to make love to the audience, an artist is a masturbator, he wants to please himself."

Band name. The the

"Keeping kindness alive is a tragic and sacred job. and you're doing it." -Naomi to me

Ann D'amore

Cannibal Fish that only eats bigger fish

Breaking News; Trump call "It" "Great"

fire and kill with diabolical skill build an empire, livin higher on the hill I got a new chip off an old brick bought a new whip for a cold bitch I'll burn a label just to turn the tables yall heard the fables, I'm sure unstable

Whenever I witness a major athletic event, I imagine Hunter S Thompson noticing it out of the corner of his eye from some decrepit setting. The culminating achievement of countless lives, acknowledged and moved on. One sentence among pages but a sentence that exists in millions of stories.

hot tub is my birth control of choice

If I could be any superhero I would be Daredevil because I always wanted to be blind

Do you think Evel Kineval convinced anyone his real name is Evel by spelling it Evel instead of Evil?

wear a tie when swimming

Q: What's that butterfly for? A: It looks pretty.

If the Louvre was destroyed with it's contents, what would the consequence be?

Billy on the Street Bit. Mo Rocca or Louix Thorou Wrong! That's Ira Glass!

is it a true paradox if it doesn't translate to a different language?

politicians are paid scapegoats