Rocc box

Bland statements whose opposite is also true.
"having a good day is better than having a bad day"

Penis flavored ice cream. For girls.

Setting very specific world records

Buying garbage bags just to throw them away

Man needs a maid music video

Value village date: buy an outfit that your partner has to wear for the rest of the day.

Tasting the grapes sourness with every blink that closed but did not reveal

Why do people make fun of prince for changing his name to a symbol. It's not like his name was really "prince" in the first place

Domini marketing for Republicans, "How To get a six-pack from behind your desk"

Have you ever been in one of those cars where the breaks and gas pedals are switched?
It's amazing how long it takes to get used to that. But not as difficult as driving on the other side of the road. I'm going to the UK in a few weeks so I thought I'd get some practice.

If you shot a gun in an old folks home, more people would die from shock hearing gunfire than would die by bullets.

Are there any fruits that you pickle

I enjoy teasing people who take life seriously

Frontal lobotomy are fully funded under the new Healthcare system. Doctors have been pushing it so they can make more money.

Blood red wall paint

Did you know that otter pops aren't made with real otters

You smell like burnt popcorn, are you having a heart attack?

I would not want to be an insurance agent in Metropolis.

Makes Eva Braun look like Joan of Arc

Last time he ran a committee they wanted  an arabian thoroughbred he he gave them a Bactrian

Surprisingly, much more valuable, it's on the endangered list.

Why is 10 the "round" number?  Why not 8? Now that's a round number!

I decided to start smoking recently. I don't like it very much but I heard it's good for you and I'm kind of a health nut. People tell me that once I start, I'll never want to go back.

Have you ever thought. I wish my ears had aux input, so I wouldn't feel so stupid when I try to put in my headphones backwards

A nation of people who all had their hands cut off

I just want a girlfriend so I can walk down the street and stare at my phone the whole time. I just got to hold her hand and she can be the eyes for both of us.

Ice cream cones are for children. If you go to the ice cream store and order in a bowl you are not a child. A child should have a dripping ice cream cone in one hand and a balloon in the other. Alternately a giant lollipop and one of those paddle games with the red ball on the string.
The cone is no a very stable shape to be carrying something.
You'd never drop your ice cream on the ground if you were eating it in a bowl.

While you are talking to someone do you ever think, I hope this person isn't a mind reader.

Did you hear, Worthers is coming out with a new Candy. "Worthers Even More Original"

Ice cream cone  is my new standard measure distance

Give homeless people boom boxes with only your favorite songs loaded on.

In asian insant noodle world. What flavor does orange represent?
Chicken

When are Mike and Ikes going to get in the bag candy game?

I feel bad for the "Worthers Original" brand. Not a lot of room for innovation. You can't really come up with a new spin, you can't do cherry worthers originals.

Needs work. Not sure if its worth it

I think I like bugles so much it's messing with the microeconomy of my local grocery store

Ask Mike if he would do a speaking tour for cross cut laminate.

koyaanisqatsi
Watching scotty grow
Uta hagen
Clarence Thomas Long Dong Silver
Patches
gil jankowitz
Sargasso sea
Marshall holman, johnny petraglia, carmen salvino
Andrea true, more more more
Red Adair

Have you ever talked with a homeless person for so long that they "have to go somewhere" and walk away.

I have a restraining order out on Nicole Kidman.

I don't make enough money to be gangster.
Dreadlock weed, girl overzealous on skateboard then embarrassed. my dad doesn't believe in chiropractor degrees should, Russian chic with Mary tattoo. You're going the wrong way.

Face in the crowd, homeless chick talking at the same time. (singing song.) Your favorite songs are the ones you sing to yourself. (except "I'm never lonesome")
Can't party by yourself.  You can't remember everything, at least bot all at once. Madeline cookies. I'm from Northern California so I didn't become a movie star but I got over it, I became a mother for my kids and I did a good job. The opposite of a stranger is a parent. Somehow you care more about you children than you do about yourself. Calling your kids and parents is important, even if you don't have a phone. Someone stealing your purse takes more away than they get. Losing a purse hits in two waves. One first hit and then a lingering wave follows. Brushing teeth, backpack. Offical visitor, thought I was a gangster, I don't make enough money to be a gangster.

Is that your grandfather, is that Martina Davis.

You gotta miss something

Asian girl comes up and trying to hook up. Not very subtle at first and then straight up asking for it. I try to deflect with abstract conversation. What are you up to?  Writing about a conversation but I can't remember the part the began with a song. Its comfortable to have a communal experience, like listening to a song that brings you all to a similar time in your life. What do you do? Would you like to hang out. I don't want to lead you on.

They're playing douggie

Christmas in July

I want to see her again and ask her what song she was saying that day.

I think the term "slut" is a judgment on quality more than quantity.

Kaboodle

My hobby is welding bikes to bike races.

Are there cold torches that make stuff cold?

Pawn shops should also sell crack

NASCAR right hand turns

The National anthem of Trinidad and Tobago should be "Hot Hot Hot"

Used pencil to the end vs used toilet paper

How come cheap cars don't look cool

What's the worst present youve ever given