Salt N' Pepa

Black and grey hair is more attractive on guys than girls.

Would you rather marry fuck kill

If you had to marry someone with a disability, which one would you choose? good... bad... One leg... half as many shoes... how far up does it go? Does the pussy still work? Blind... you don't have to groom. you don't have to dress up, you don't need to dust... you have to do her makeup, she can get drunk anywhere because no one expects her to walk straight or drive Deaf... you always get to choose the radio station, you can curse at her behind her back... the noises she makes during sex make you lose your erection Sociopath... Autism... Marry fuck kill one leg blind deaf explain the logic for one simple/absurd decision in open form on stage

Iced

Using the term penalty seems light for being used in the term death penalty?
"Mark was high sticking so they put him in the death-penalty box."

pegboard walls

Big Brother in the High Castle

Calling someone who is Chinese, "Japanese" will be worse than calling someone who is Jewish a "Nazi" onec the Chinese take control of the media from the Jews

are burka's more oppressive than western standards of physical beauty. There aren't nearly as many who are saying "oh no! no one can see how beautiful I am under this dress that hides all my features more like "thank god no one can tell what an ugly son of a bitch i am under all this shit."

Spinnin Money

"During its heyday, Pablo Escobar's drug cartel spent $2,500 per month on rubber bands for bricks of cash."

turd

the easiest time to lie to someone is when you first meet them (teach people how to be caustious of first impressions)

if you have insessantly distractin noisy neighbors, build insulation.

a comedian is the type of person who in real life will make the joke even if it hurts their side of the argument

subtle entendre

subtle entendre

mo money mo problems is only true because if you don't have money your only problem is that you need money. once that is satisfied you have to move up maslow's hierarchy to the multitudes of existential problems.

"There are no differences but differences of degree between different degrees of difference and no difference." william james

Album name, hidden in infinity.

try a set only asking the audience questions making assumptions about their answers direction

agreeing is boring i dont like it when people agree with me, ill switch sides just because i refuse to preach to the chior

i like interrupting diatribes, because i like to undercut premises

i don't pay taxes, because i don't negotiate with those who don't negotiate with terrorists

sax players look like they are good dancers but if you take away the sax part they look ridiculous

walk barefoot at night in the city to train confidance in vulnerability

one does not hide in the shadows with confidence

what are questions that can immediatly open, to me, an origional interesting conversation, that the other person wouldn't feel too out of their own wheelhouse and is intersting to them

cosby conducting

to all my friends on shore cosby soundtrack

"life before death on stage"

Plosives

The present pressence of the presidnnt presents a pleasent  present to the peasents

Press

The present presents a present(gift) of presence. Pressicience

Ambulance written backward thinks its clever, but does it need to be there at all. Before that they were getting confused with ice cream trucks. "that ice cream truck sure is driving aggressive, and what's that new song the're playing? I liked it better when they played camp-town ladies. Now wait a second, "looks in rear view mirror"

nickel what!?

cannonball

is it cannibalism if you eat something that just ate your friend

nigh

a nihilist at night is the perfect location. not on a scale of light to dark, but the absense of light, we think of the sun as the grand illuminator but in fact coulds our vision of the limitlessness of the stars and the cosmic perspective of how insinifcat we are feeds the nightlists mind and as a constant reminder above the horizon.

calm to fear

capture the flag at night miscommunication fleeting chased. safe makes turn to harm then makes hard turn back to harmless

tim buck

i adopted two boys from timbucktu, it cost me ten bucks for the two of them, they are both named tim and my last name is buck so to not get mixed up i caal the older one tim buck one and the older one tim buck also (repeat with variations never hitting the timbuck too or two line) -

juneau 2

1 down alaska capital=juneau 1 across michael cera's knocked up= juno 2 down rick ross date rape=uoeno

ask people how many kids mlk had to see if they really know mlk's i had a dream speech (it is the very next word after the most well know "i had a dream") (I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.)

a sarcastic tone for longer phrases: talk in the cadence you would to a baby.

i went to a therapist, that shit is bullshit, she's all like,"hey you know that thing you're doing? that thing that's bad, how bout we try not doin that ok? How's that sound" and i'm like "Oh! ya know I never thought about it that way. It never even crossed my mind, that thing I do, the bad thing, its bad for me. I never thought of it that way before. "

How would you create an association to lobby against excessive divorse settlements
The funding and membership would be easy. Members would have solidarity and focus. Design like nra.

Why are prisons not considered a cruel punishment?

when you lose an audience with the premise, instead of retreating go deeper

You can probably tell by how comfortable i look that I spent a lot of time on sage, as day trader on the herbal market. Im gonna make a killing when it turns from to  season to  season

Sometimes i like to whisper the end of my jokes so when only a few people are laughing it sounds like they are laughing extra hard.

the underdog polo story, a movie of the first black polo player

how was classical music so complex, there could be very limited avid listeners before music could be recorded

you never hear whistling anymore because music is ubiquitous, back in the day if you wanted to listen to music while you were out you had to be able to perform it and know all the parts

You know how back in the day people when it rained they used to think it was the gods crying and now we look back on them folk who  simple and figure out but isn't the concept of god moret  difficult than understanding the water cycle i mean Im pretty sure its three steps and Im pretty sure i could figure out that the lake gets lower when its hot out  and it rains when there's clouds on the sky... understanding god is like, 6 steps, at least

Commercial from the perspective of an illegal Mexican who is pained that he can pay taxes because the immigration office is a bottleneck. Please let me pay taxes to help pay my keep for the great services that make American great