Butt welding

Did you learn how to streach a joke from the back of a limousine?

Cast of crew all demonstrating work out machines with black handles

Roast of ice cube, "ice cubes a baller, he can play any sport, I saw him last week play hocky, fucked around got a triple double, two points two instigating and two for makin foos check themself
That's a black hocky joke, there's only like 2 of those, treasure it.

Invent rediculous scenarios where common aphorisms become incredibly poor advice

Random jury with celebrity in it sketch. End up having to decide important case

Cannibal differences

What's the difference between a famous s*** and a cannibal? The cannibal eats the c*** before it comes out its ass

A da bears type sketch but replace with stoners preaching to come the chior

Unending tangents, ya know?

Character, "you know, the one" preface for unending tangents.  Possible topics onclude friends episodes

Guy wants wedding at biggest church in area no exception.  Biggest church is in prison. Big toug guys play sentimental, make statements,  "love is so beautiful"

Serious Tang

Movie about a Conspiracy theory group that is really pulling "all of the strings" 911 planes with gas, jews control media cause they say

A serious Pootie Tang

He knows, the breeze blows

Smart streets

street puppet with subtle voiceover tricking people in first draft to say rediculous or stupid answers. Reveal strange ignorances. Tricks to make street people look smart instead of always dumb, ask them math and dub over with slightly more complex, it will trick people who think we told the answers because you can see thought taking place.
Do one at Microsoft and have everone seem almost impossibly smart. Do it at uw and discover a trend that the hottest/ditsy blond sorority is by far the smartest (bonus, meet sorority girls)

If you die from auto erotic asphyxiation.  When you're dead is your cock still hard,,, or do you come right after you die (like the...) or is it a secret, its the only way to reach rigamortis still erect. Its what the pharaohs did when thry died so they could bring their big dicks to heaven with them

BET The Voice

The Voice reapproriated for b.e.t. but white people cant say n word. Ceelo and blake have protoges and go back and forth. Only at the end does blake discover eminem.

Black plague

The black plague,, killed 32million people from sweeden to sicily..
It never successfully spread to africa... probably because they were already black

You were revolting before che Guevara was in diapers

You're the only guy I know who loses weight when he farts

A serious moment with 2 Chainz

A serious moment with (insert bobastic rapper exe 2chain, lil john) talk serious topic. Instead of between two ferndvit between 2 bitches shakin ass in our face the whole time. Extremely close to face, shoot in closeup with ass still in frame. Before answering a 3rd question, hold up on finger signaliing to wait a moment, then moterboat ass cheeks. After comercial switch ass to tits

When a child is born, so is a father

Im pro life, I make all my money through rape babies

Its not statuatory if she already has a kid, I'm pretty sure

Hows it feel to be the #1 option for a gay make a wish kid now that Michael died

Put my desktop on my lap

Why aren't there new vegetables? They crows fruits like pluots but I've never seen a crossed vegetable. That's because vegetables suck. Would you eat a "grotesque exemples with funny combo names"

Stealing chainsaw

What do you stiel (chainsaw)

Model trains

I heard last week you fucked a model... train. Choo choo

emasculating insults

If I went for a low blow my foot might get stuck in your fat cunt.
If I tried to kick yiu in the crotch...

Did you hear the guy who invented the segway died when it took him off a cliff?
That segue was Almost as bad as the one you just tried

Short bus

Short bus driver, back seat.

How short is the bus you took to school?
You could do a u turn in a drive through.

Lonewolf loanshark

we can go do what you like, I know you like that. Good line or not?

Poor Dale

Dale Earhart Jr had a tough childhood, most people know that his dad Dale died in a car crash but almost no one knows about how his mom Emelia flew into the ocean

Raped in a holocaust shower

Shitty world

Its a nice world we live in, too bad we all have to shit so much

Lachrimose intolerant

Lachrymose intolerance

Big Character concept

Character who over analizes  every question

Carnival board

Carnival board meeting, seats go up and down like merry go round. People discuss and complain but ceo is obstinate till revealed at end

Class quiz based on what you really learn in class. Exe. How man ceiling tiles are there

Skit from the perspective of body part distracted by how it has to move while  a ridiculous scene is happening in background to character

Warren Buffett shops at borshimes in model of rick ross shopping

Warren Buffett as guest, inside look at his life. Lives like frat house/or lives like Rick Ross, use borshiems connection?

Shamwow millionaire

Character of hapless millionaire who made minor convenience. living a lavish life from the perspective of what a child would think a millionaire would do with their money

Did you know Starbucks is made from dead stars? Think about that next time

I went to Harvard

Not alot of people know this but I went to Harvard,,,  last weekend to throw rock at nerds. Dont tell on me,  not a lot of people know. Who woulda thought, the nerds bigggest weakness the geek kryptonite, ,, rocks. Sticks and stones may break my bones but nerds will never hurt me

I could whip out my dick, start pissing on the front row, and the people ib the back would just think its part of the act
Act out slightly incredulous back audience.
Then go back and forth between acting out front row getting pissed on

Stage Bathroom

Have you ever had to go to the bathroom on stage? The worst part,,, no privacy.
Have you heard about this bathroom on the streets of time square with oneway glass... I would masterbate.

Biggest fan

Biggest fan character, a giant person who is forced to be spokesperson for everything he likes because he becomes by default,  the biggest fan

Peer pressure hecklers

Explain to hecklers how peer pressure works acknowledge their punk ability to rise above and get them to use their powers for good like laughing at the show.
If doesn't work use peer pressure againts them.