the worst candy doesn't have a name, its just dark yellow in a clear plastic wrap

watermelon is one of the few things that is judged by the color of it's insides.

what weights more the inside or the outside of a watermelon. Depends how hungry you are.

I want a girlfriend just so I can buy a watermelon at the grocery store and not fell intimidated.

What about the optimistic suicidal

Not enough foods are aphrodisiacs these days. Back in the day Evey leaf and root was being marketed as an aphrodisiac.

Write a rap for Ryan renolds about renolds wrap aluminum foil

Are school shooters usually sober?

A can of lope

The closer you are to the ground the easier you are to kick. They say don't kick a man when he's down but the reason they have to tell you that is because it would be so easy.

Trees are more brown than green. You got to remember the roots. By volume too.

Train crowd to pick up cigarette butts for food. They start taking cigarettes out of people's hands. Loitering around people who smoke.

Do you like true crime? Not me, crime is bad

Black face off

Chinese people read backwards so they always know the ending of a story before the beginning

I don't think Trix are for kids. Nobody likes Trix especially kids

Looking up vs looking at the ground

How often are people getting poisoned to death?

"I've covered a lot of ground here..."

It's not even noon and I already want a nap

Carrot top on shark tank

Guy trys to disguise himself and grows a big bushy beard. Girl tries to disguise and gets bangs

Worst thing I ever said during sex. "Little pig little pig let me come inside of you."

The wonderful thing about black people: they're bouncy bouncy bouncy bouncy fun fun fun fun fun

If each person called you a different name

Or

What if you called everyone the same name. And everyone else did too. Then you wouldn't be known by your name but by the name you call people

Wicker/wigger furniture

My body gives me the "I'm home release pee" in the elevator and I have a long hallway

What if there was a basketball hat?

The amount of money you need not to have in order to be starving is a lot

Bicycle firefighter

I don't understand baseball uniforms. belts, longs sleeves, layers, hats, mpire uniform

did ben franklin have a wig with a bald patch?

CPO sharkie remake

You can't let your cake melt in the rain and have the recipe too

Start uncovering historical foibles that we "cancel" people for in the modern era .

Until no one is left.

"Foibles of my hero's"

The worst thing done by the  best person.

The closer you are to the ground, the easier you are to kick.

Micturation

Jerry Craig

Twenty heads jumeped into a pool. 20 4headds jumped out. How?

It feels weird to stop in the middle of a hallway.

Call beggars rebbe nachem

Perspective is the breadth of time

How many years before you can call something tradition

A spoon FULL of sugar seems a bit much.

I used to have a five piece suit but I'm slimming down.

Have you ever played that game where you pretend the ground is lava. Practally an improvement!
It's like we knew instinctively at a young age that the ground is bad and not to be dealt with.

Black guys like to over dress white guys like to underdress

We all have our weird ways of organizing things. I have my music organized chronologically, by when I first listened to it.

Back in the spice trade days you had to know your spices like drug dealers know cocaine. Tester kits for saffron.

Why is reading so easy.