Fasting is a ballsy political move

Acceleration is more interesting than top speed

The key to comedy is wearing a dress

You know what's heavy? Bowling balls.

Old McDonald had an igloo

Guy offered to buy my shirt today. What a weird way to go shopping.

Made flava flave look like George Kennedy in cool hand luke

Female cool hand luke

"I'm comfortably well off." - daffy duck swimming in a pile of gold

Modern day ascap boycot in music. Only public domain songs available to listen to

You never hear about people not getting into Harvard or MIT 100 years ago

People of substance. Who have mirrors in their house

Pop rock Margherita

How many people tie their shoes every morning?

Unseemly hullabaloo

Belt twist

My dad wrote Captian Underpants, so yeah I grew up with money

If I was a celebrity with skeletons in the closet, I would join Scientology, fast

That which we call a rose / By Any Other Name would smell as sweet.
What if you called it "poop"

What are the douchebag names for the next generation?

"ain't no such thing as halfway opera singing" mobb deep

Bike chop shop

Hap 3 musketeers
Rene chocolate peanut butter

More Schwab

Guys don't get purses because they will swing them around.

Musicians who have died on planes vs cars

Hard candy sucks. Hard is not a good adjective for food.

Pacing on the phone

Borat is a wild and crazy guy

Implications of a white guy who's 1/32 chinese

Guns don't seem like a good way to defend yourself. It's more of an offensive tool.

One way glory hole

Why do old people walk so slow. Have you ever seen someone over 90 run? How much can they ratch up.

Name son Shaft

Campbell's cut some corners this quarter

What kind of promotions can the dollar store have?

Ill try to make up for it with gesticulation and poignancy

Crib with a lid

Whirling dervish

Karate kid shower curtain costume

Michael medler

Steven pine

I wouldn't want to be Confucius' son

The son of Sun Tzu

Chris smith

I'm the kind of guy that laughs at a funeral. Can't understand what I mean? It's been 20 years since this song came out, I don't think it's going to happen.

Force feeding dentures

The maid stole my towels

Moths are inside bats

You wanna buy a gun go to a handball court

Please don't trespass against me. I don't want to have to forgive you.