One step past cankle, fetlock

Hang em high ending. I know that I am still nursing you back to health from their bullets but give up this vengeance thing already. I know it took me fifteen years but I got over it yesterday so now that I am on the other side of the fence I have no sympathy.

If you lived in old western days, a pinstripe suit meant that you were a bum

Why isn't there a sammish brewery? Every other landmark in this city has a brewery.

Get me a sammish!

You know my favorite thing about being the king?  Great customer service.

When people use the term squared in regular conversations they usually mean double.
When referring to two similar things people say "its like something squared"
1 squared is 1 and 2 squared is 4. Which one are you talking about.
If you are talking about one thing and calling it sqaured because 1 sqaured is one, I will listen and ask youva question why you did that and then laugh really hard when I realize how absurd you are.
You could be talking about the square root of 2.  But that would be just as abdurf as one.

I took a math test and for every answer I wrote 0 and at the bottom of the test I wrote, "Answers rounded to the nearest hundred thousand"
This joke does better in geometry class.

Worms quit running so hard there's nothing for you on the other side.

If the only book was the kama sutra instead of the Bible

A way to innocuously help prisoners snitch.

Sean and hayes sarcastic interview with big stars made from sound bites.

So Don Rickles died... Anyway...

Since he is no longer using the anyway transition I figure I might as well use it.

Play misty for me parody with an absurd song

Supercilious or super silly us?

Its about the journey not the destination unless you are flying

"Make the moon great again"

Most and least down to earth person at the same time.

Superman is more powerful than a locomotive. Thats not that strong. 150 hp?

Peggy holds the not world record.

Does anyone know anyone who ever had to use the oxygen mask on an airplane?

Do you know how I did that?
Magic!
-Briggs

The more bad ideas you have the closer you are to a good one. - Hap

Sorry about this one
What's the difference between a woman and a toilet. A toilet doesn't belong in the kitchen.

Kermit The Frog went to Ohio State

Speak friend and enter stamp tramp

Buy a short bus and drive in bus lanes

Somehow fantasia 2000 looks more dated than the 1940 one

Snl skit first skit in the show, i put pubes in place of all the beards so in all future skits it adds layers to all future.

What is it about Mary's garden that makes her so contrary?

Unknown number optimistic

Honeymooners Batman crossover

What's the pc term for Gypsy

I am fun to be around and I have fun by myself

Car with a bed in the back built in

Luke is my hero because he knows how to have a good time with nothing.

Camel cigarettes branch out and start making sewing thread

If I could get kicked anywhere, the ass is one of the best choices.

My weakness is inertia and finishing strong. The middle 90% I be killin it

Galusha A. Grow

Did you know that duck season and rabbit season are the same seasons?

Astronaut William McCool's nickname was willy

Vigilante hoarder arsonist

"Washington is a place where you can have 4 seasons in 1 day"

Almond Brother album cover

Chain stores are like weeds blocking sunlight from unique flowers

How liberal biased is online media

Bill burrs favorite stadium in each sport.

Why does archie have the exclusive for grocery stores

Isn't regular heaven way better than sex with virgins

Comedians are tge worst interviewers because they are too self involved