My name is jim Morrison

Would you rather create a would you rather scenario or attempt to solve a would you rather scenario

A pea coat with buttons shaped like my nose.

Have you ever seen like when they put  carpet on a floor.

Bill, you said being with your child is calming, use it as meditation.

So much stolie you could float the Bismarck

Try to convince telemarketers to quit their jobs

Que sirachasiracha

Medicines now days have such crazy names because scientists how to manufacture words to make a product sound a certain way, (list of 3 medicines). You can tell an old medicine if it's named something like,(1,2, St. John's Wart). Worst medicine name ever

Rhold dahl makes charles dickens look like Jonathan Franzen

Making a reference to Dennis Miller is a Dennis Miller type reference

What's the difference between trumps Twitter and Roosevelt's fireside chats, between building a wall and the ccc, moving factories locally and the wpa ? Muslim immigration ban and Japanese internment.

What are all the steps that money flows from "the taxes I pay" to "payeing the wages of someone building a road

Tj miller could play willy wonka

Roald dahl makes charles dickens look like Jonathan Franzen

Welcome to 1a,the podcast at the top of the charts, alphabetically.

Every "thing" has a name. Namely, "thing". There is a set that contains all things, classified as the set of "things".

shark tank with tv show premises

Nobody on jeopardy has ever had the "it factor". Ken Jennings is a brick

Your girlfriend is so young when you talk all she hears is Charlie Brown's teacher.

After  25 years of life, going down stairs still isn't a reflex.

I'll hide the cash under these diamonds.

Chocolate MLK

I woke up this morning and I thought it was Milk day. So I was like, that's an easy day to celebrate. So I poured myself a glass of milk. Then I looked at my phone and saw it was MLK day, so I made it chocolate milk.

I'm so white im not even allowed to hear the n-word

Is flagellation masochistic

Bsidez Radio

Abusive dad uses tile to find belt.
Abusive dad yells at Google home instead of  wife.

imaine how many fish are anorexic

Ran a marathon but never did a pushup

guy with a crazy name is unable to pass concussion protocol. adopted guy can't pass concussion protocol recent immigrant from war torn country can't pass concussion protocol can't pass concussion protocol inauguration day

Crossing your fingers for the DSM 6

named my dog james after me

i'm going to name all my kids george foreman

So many sports are "keep away"

Great escape meets underground railroad

Do people wash under their fingernails every time they wash their hands?

I saw a sign on a door that said "Push Or Pull". Thanks for the heads up.

A tv channel that is all sad.
Interviews with kids with cancer

The next superfruit is called Orenthal

what ages would you want to be when attending the dupont 50 year annual meeting?
8, 58?
19, 69? Yes.

Louis ck turns down Harvard law

Charles groden amazing race

First person side scroller

Stat is short statim which is latin for immediately. That's how fast a doctor needs a scalpel, immediately isn't quick enough.

Learn to play its a mans world on piano.

Lonely island parody called archipelago

I asked Google home to blow me. It said "I'm sorry I can't help with that yet."
Yet?

what does lgbtqi stand for?

Eliminated=lemonaded

Who named Bengay?