Looking at the mirror at the distance that makes your head appear actual size.

Marred in controversy

bill marr

Marred in controversy

bill marr

Mothership Rich

sketch snooty glass art gallery that sells fancy bongs to rich stoners but ignores other clientele

Malcolm was killed by black people Martin by white people

Sounds Like

Neal Brennan and Patrick Walsh sound exactly the same

Same with Stan Ellsworth and John Goodman

"The Post Modern Yankee Workshop"

"The Real Ogee" (router bit)

"The Real Ogee" (router bit)

James Brown's original name was James White but he changed it for the industry

would you rather be mentally handicapped, mentally disabled, or mentally retarded?

Reason for companionship: For someone to be on the same side of the glass with.

A book about antiques will never be obsolete

Its actually very simple Midevivel comes after Renaissance and then it's organized by color and size

That's deliciously tacky

In improv say that the other person said great things about you so they have to agree.

Key and Peele antique roadshow black memorabilia. Held back nerdy black enthusiasm.

I understand why ship owners did not want women aboard their vessels. It's sexist and I think the vast majority of people would say that it was a good financial decision. How did sailors fall in love with the sea. Like a rolling stone it does not care for moss and feels unfulfilled unless moving forward.

Euclid originally defined a point as "that which has no part."

Yet, it is present and significant in every dimension.

A triangle has 5 sides, the hypotenuse, the opposite side, the adjacent side, the inside and the outside.

A circle has infinite sides or 2 sides

Trump decides to make a new monument like Rushmore or the statue of liberty. When are the recent "wonders of the world"

when someone asks you a boring question, just answer a more interesting question as if you misheard

How come i've never seen anything about what you are supposed to be thinking while exercising?

Why would you pledge allegiance to an inanimate object? IF you are pledging to it as a symbol then you wouldn't have to say that yo additionally support the republic that it is a symbol for.

If you enjoy "getting better" it's something you can do all day and in every moment. This, plus it's long term investment value, makes it one of the more ideal things to want to enjoy.
If I enjoy getting stronger, I can enjoy any moment by finding a way to get stronger at something in that moment

That's my night time vacuum

American Peep show with Joe machi and sam morril

i gotta stop being so nice to the burrito guy cause he overflows my burrito and i can't eat it but he thinks he's doing me a favor

If old white Catholics said Jah instead of God

Kyle Mooney as a Rastafarian priest

My wife, my mom, my brother and his wife all die on a terrible accident. My dad and I are left to raise my brother's infant child.

Synonym Finder

A website where you enter a sentence and it replaces each word with its longest synonym.

Jah Man

I believe in one Jah, the father and the almighty, creator of heaven and earth.

Whenever someone sneezes I will say "Ja bless you" and when they say "What?" I say "Jah! You know "Jah" like Jah is good Jah is great, let us thank Jah for this food?"

Usually you are not surprised that it is the last day of school.

Boggart

identify indecision and inaction in your life. use it to discover your fear that is holding you back. once a fear is uncovered it loses its power, similar to that harry potter creature

Sham is not a great name for a product with supposed magical quality.

The focal refocusing when looking at an embering bowl is a trigger

What are comics most afraid of. What would be emersion therapy exercises for those fears

the funniest thing about sex is that everybody does it but you never get to see it

not paranoid car

not paranoid car Three stoners in a car Jacob Straight edge Cheech/Chong Outside shot of tie dye van blasting music in the back of a parking lot smoke billows out the window inside the car, a conversation about weed then a light through a window sparks a paranoid conversation, they bush it off to paranoia, "yeah this weed makes me paranoid sometimes" "yeah I did a bunch of acid when i was 17 so I see lights sometimes" outside shot of a property manager in a pantsuit calling the cops with a tone of disgust like a 16 year old girl who's only chore for her allowance is to take out the trash inside, conversation returns to weed but returns to paranoia when cop lights flash brush off with explanation of light ball, "but it seems more red and blue, did the green and yellow bulbs die out outside shot of additional cop cars pulling in, dogs tugging on leashes and barking outside inside van, do you hear those dogs barking? "Your feet been killing you to? takes off shoes, my dogs have been barking since I took that molly on Thursday and danced in flip flops for 6 hours." No but seriously I hear dogs. did someone let their dogs out? "guy changes the music to Who let the dogs out" Outside the cops are closing in when rambo drives up with a propped up machine gun in the back of a flatbed truck, mowing down police officers inside, turn on some different music, like some... bullet whizzes by, "what was that"

some of the smartest people I know are beautiful

bury me in my gi

Not While Driving

Listening to Chess on the radio

What types of mental exercises would be worst to do while driving? What would be the least disruptive?

10 best podcasts Cash with TJ... No ticket Todd Glass with ANthony Jezelnik and Jonah Ray Pod F Tompkast Episode potter WTF Bob Zamuda Hollywood Handbook Sinbad Ricky Gervais, Diary

Animated farside. In 5-10 second clips.

Has any Scandinavian from Minnesota ever been offended that the name of their NFL team is "The Vikings"

Comedy sketch where Bob from sesame Street gets fired by a brash studio executive.

sci fi short story collection about different universe pluralities that All tell the story like groundhog day but with the sci fi change subtly introduced and brought to light, focused because of its deviation from the archetypal story (our universe). The slow revel of what the difference in universes is the point of the stories. The practical pragmatic differences in life with scientific advances. The arch story will cover the most common experiences and be somewhat droll in a pleasantville type of way. story varients -teleportation -mind reading -cloning

Tinder with your therapist

In 50 years you might as well call Trump Millard Fillmore