From the back, a dog looks like a tall guy with his head out the sunroof

John Williamson movie reviews

If you knew that you would choose wrong, which decision would make you more happy.

Black "the sting"

How big do I want my fishbowl to be?

Trump Flair

Donald Trump impression, Rick Flair speech

Childish Reviews

Kids say the darnedest things meets movie reviews.
Offer in exchange for free "fun tutoring"
Vocabulary, vocab words of the day. Different kids making different sentences
History
Current events
Philosophy
Expository writing
Story telling
Oral directions
Logic puzzles

Lead by asking kids what their favorite things are and have them tell you. Pepper in questions to guide.

Practice setting up interview stage. Practice interview with mom. Then Matthews and Patrick. Make Craigslist add.

Ogre in the Living Room

How long does it take to codify an intimate relationship? 6 month s is typical but how many hours? What about a codifying moment. In Harry Potter when Harry and Ron saved Hermione from the ogre it became the reason for their friendship.
I believe that the ogre is a metaphor for rape.

Tpyo

Purposely typos can draw extra attention to important details.

Allergic to eyedrops

Torn jeans

Kids are unconcerned about the durability of their clothing. Adults are overly concerned.

Black Eye

Sunglass monocle.

Just like Heaven

What would you think if you saw Hitler in heaven.

Controlled Fixation

Joy stick: A stick from which joy is derived. a.video game controller b. cigarette c. dick

Ugh zactly?

Ugh zactly

Garden State Isle

I think I might be the only person who has ever checked out of the grocery store with only    Nutella, salsa, pear flavored jelly beans and chicken hearts.

How many purchase combo's are possible and how many have occurred

Garden State Isle

I think I might be the only person who has ever checked out of the grocery store with only    Nutella, salsa, pear flavored jelly beans and chicken hearts.

How many purchase combo's are possible and how many have occurred

Like doing a three point turn on the Titanic

3 in 1

Banana juice 1. Juice made of banana's 2. Juice to put on a banana 3. Semen

Greater than

There's more numbers than...
Fingers on your hand chairs in the room people at my school

Business Camping Trip

Find a house with really high weekend rental potential then live in it on weekdays and go camp on weekends.

Soulja boy was ahead of his time.

I'm the best rapper in "name a place"

How come when people say they are going to do a Jack Nicholson impression instead they do a terrible Ed McManus impression.

I glide like the ghost of Clyde

Homeless voting booth filibuster

Most underrated standup. Sinbad

masks for swimming so you can breath without getting water splashed in your mouth

I had a blind date and she told me to meet her at the hospital...

The Awakenings

awakening to your child's potential: the storys of parents and the moments they start to realize that thier child has mental dissabilities and how different parents deal with that impending realization

what's the best youtube ad

sketch comedy show where the monty python type segue is unqued cartoonish murder

Star Trek framing device for sketch comedy

"god bless you very much"

Everything you don't know is Schroedinger cat, with deliverance from ignorance having positive and negative potentialities

Who said it...
Charlie Sheen or Trump.
"Winning"
"They don't want me to win."

Sieg Heil

The Hitler Salute is one of the greatest greetings of all time. Has any other group or country come up with something similar?

Do Germans make the best game apps

Mark Walhburg hosts antiques roadshow that updates 1990's prices to 2012

Is there any proof that spoilers make you less likely to consume. The metaphor doesn't extend and track.

When analyzing a reflexive response, ask yourself, what am I trying to rationalize or defend. If I am disproportionately on one side than the other, am I attempting to hide irrationality from my consciousness.

The Discontinuation of Wheaties Leave millions of 80 year old men with nothing to eat for breakfast

To a large swath of population, the pokeball is more recognizable than the yin yang

Vicious maliciousness

Foolishness provoked by absurdity

A writing exercise where you think of a thing and the you think of the least likely place it could be, then you try to explain the story of how it came to be

I have more positive dreams when I fall asleep in a confident position, face up with my hands open by my sides

make faces first and then learn the voice of an impression

My nickname s kix. Cause I'm kid tested, mother approved.