Firemen aren't there to save your dumb ass if you catch your shit on fire, they are there to help save your ass and assets from your dumb as neighbors

Fold equity for confidence

Sunset moon mountain forest ocean beach feet pussy/dick tiiys lips blanket

When the student becomes the master, should nevers cease to be a student to his own teaching. (to phrase with animal metaphor)

A ring that holds water as a lense over a curvature that shines best at arms length revealing its to its beholder

Montage of nerds running for the bus

Skit about group of black guys with founding father last names

Guy who knows supreme court statues to settle and ridiculous dispute a la Steve landesberg

White city shopping center vs. Panera bread
"no reasonable speaker of English would call a burrito a sandwich"

This drug makes your nose feel like your elbow

The scapegoat

Dwight in the 90's with shoulder pad suit

Entourage for sports

I started smoking because i didn't love anything. At least i could love this tobacco tube

Vegans and peta are white over compensation for slaver guilt

Why can't they make nba benches bigger?

bruce jenner dominates wnba

You know that feeling where you are in trouble with your girlfriend or mom or boss or the cops but you've done so many bad things you don't know which one has caught up to you so you try find out what they know and pretend that is the exact extent of your misdeeds

This time in my life is like the beginning part of scoobie doo running

jello

my name is jello, i breed exotic animals. i don't deal with prostitiutes i deal with dancers thats not against the law

brainwash?

if you are brainwashed how culpable are you

Limp wrists

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Kk autocorrect to kkk

Todd Barry manilow

Aswan the viceroy of kush

Isn't worldwide one word? I want to use a local web. Lw.Google.com

Papaya phone

If Raffi wrote many other fruit inspired phone paradises

Troit

Im from da Troit

Best and worst moments: best i met Pete best. Worst i ate a liver worst and got food posining

How come there isn't a bigger version of the jelly bean. They are the best flavors but you can only enjoy them in small increments.

One reason prostitution and drugs are illegal is if they were legal it would be too easy to laundry money through them. You could believe a guy would pay any price for sex or drugs (examples)

This is why rich people claim to love art, because you can't put a price on it, but a million dollars sounds pretty good.

Make music videos staring me for songs that came out before mtv

The Risible Man

A short story collection where the framework revolves through a secondary narrating character who, in finding a secret entrance behind a therapy center, he listens to a series of psychotherapy sessions.

Salt N' Pepa

Black and grey hair is more attractive on guys than girls.

Would you rather marry fuck kill

If you had to marry someone with a disability, which one would you choose? good... bad... One leg... half as many shoes... how far up does it go? Does the pussy still work? Blind... you don't have to groom. you don't have to dress up, you don't need to dust... you have to do her makeup, she can get drunk anywhere because no one expects her to walk straight or drive Deaf... you always get to choose the radio station, you can curse at her behind her back... the noises she makes during sex make you lose your erection Sociopath... Autism... Marry fuck kill one leg blind deaf explain the logic for one simple/absurd decision in open form on stage

Iced

Using the term penalty seems light for being used in the term death penalty?
"Mark was high sticking so they put him in the death-penalty box."

pegboard walls

Big Brother in the High Castle

Calling someone who is Chinese, "Japanese" will be worse than calling someone who is Jewish a "Nazi" onec the Chinese take control of the media from the Jews

are burka's more oppressive than western standards of physical beauty. There aren't nearly as many who are saying "oh no! no one can see how beautiful I am under this dress that hides all my features more like "thank god no one can tell what an ugly son of a bitch i am under all this shit."

Spinnin Money

"During its heyday, Pablo Escobar's drug cartel spent $2,500 per month on rubber bands for bricks of cash."

turd

the easiest time to lie to someone is when you first meet them (teach people how to be caustious of first impressions)

if you have insessantly distractin noisy neighbors, build insulation.

a comedian is the type of person who in real life will make the joke even if it hurts their side of the argument

subtle entendre

subtle entendre

mo money mo problems is only true because if you don't have money your only problem is that you need money. once that is satisfied you have to move up maslow's hierarchy to the multitudes of existential problems.