genie pranks

a story about the history of a prankster genie and how he tricked people who made poor wishes, exe if you could fly but your max speed was like 1 mph, wish for so much money that the currency goes bankrupt, good intentioned wishes like savin the rainforest or global warming or racism or overpopulation resulting in modest proposal type solutions exe magic carpet turns bald man into werewolf magician

very merry

tell every audience it's my birthday, or unbirthday, today instead of doing celebrity birthdays, celebrity unbirthdays

"thanks obama"

a collection of people playing the system who are no longer able and they all say "thanks obama" sarcaastically advertisment for democrats

southern insult

does this place serve biscuts? cause i feel like im lookin at a goddamn barrel full of crackers

yeah right!

i gotta learn an owen wilson impression https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WGYGhAPlsVM

flag day

pitch a holiday movie for underappreciated holiday (this flag day)

Topic, what age should kids get their own computer?

Real life style action movie with a sword and sharpenrd staff in the jungle, fight realistic boa, jaguar, and gorilla

Giant lollypop case

compare having a pet to having a uncle tom slave cats are like field king perspective endorses both actions, uses n word, is activly racist

im bad at remembering names of actors in movies and it makes me seem like a racist

amazing race

an amazing race sketch where people on the street are slow and unhelpful, fred armisen

best and worst animals to be male or female

best seahorse (give birth) big fish (leech life) and worst bee (leech life more extreem, worker to reward ratioi, counter with ability to seee and enjoy flowers more than any person) kangaroo (pouch, counter with fighting story) animal to be the guy and girl, end with humans and where you think we lie inbetween

cheesecake factory

cheesecake factory is a success because cakes made with love had oversaturated the market

pitbull

pitbull always looks like an impersonator of himself. thats how he got famous, he can be in many places at once

business within silicon valley where everyone dresses like 30's gangsters all the time

ice prank

fill refrigerator ice machine with something other than ice exe cherries

non linear testing brainstorm

abstract nonlinear testing, et data from wrong answers, it the person guessing? did they make a common mistake? what was that mistake and what are the most common mistakes? break apart what each question is asking the greatest difficulty will be recognizin all the different kinds of mistakes. we want to identify gaps in knowledge rather than successes. more difficult questions with lower full success rate but encourage partial credit multiple choice make more questions with multiple parts but keep knowledge areas more discrete (not having answers build on one another) aptitude tests that also help to diagnoise psychological problems multiple choice math should be word bank instead?

custom ads

customize each podcast advertisement by directing it towards a very specific target market.

born sucker

there's a sucker born every minute so i stay away from hard candy cause im a vegan

comedy bits based on disliking a common comfort, exe. "does anyone else hate blankets?"

krakatoa

story of positive miracle held within larger well known disaster exe krakatoa saved a guy from going to jail.

Real survivor

survivor type show with military level professionals and extreme level contests. how far can a human be pushed

What is collusion?

are tariffs and minimum wage a form of collusion?

man is by nature gregarious he feels himself to be member of a herd, even when he is alone in his room with the curtains drawn. His mind retains the patterns which have been stamped on it by the group influences

i know what you're thinking

begin every sentence with, I know what you're thinking, exe. "I know what you're thinking, why, are banana's so slippery? Because thatas how it defends itself in the wild! Now I know what your' thinking, why isn't banana a color like orange? becasue lemons are the better fruit now i know what your thinking etc."

checkov

i don't wanna get a gun because i believe in checkov

Your adulation is isolating

"Vegas"

A Talk show that takes place in vegas so you can hear all the stories trapped in the city.

Sports anouncer character who is always paing attention to what the bench is doing

You know how the stereotype for stoners is watching tv lounging in a overplush couh, eatin nacos or some other garbage.
You know your  when you realize you've been watching tv from your kitchen cause you went to get food but now your stuck inbetween making sure your food doesn't catch on fire and you can still pay attention to shaq

When people "thank god" its metaphisical nature seems out of place next to frinds  family. "I'd like to thank divine interruption,"

Wood brim hat. Sat Essay prompt. What is clutch?
Apply spaghetti theory to standardized testing.

Virginia wolf style stand up based on a spot on the wall= paul f tompkins

whats the best flavor of popsicle, right answer orange, wrong, "purple" you know why, cause it looks, like a horse dick. and you know what red ones look like, dog dick. im pretty sure freud said that and thats why orange popsicles are the best

Demigodzilla

Is demigod just the couple nickname for when demi Moore was dating god?

Fake plug, I just put out an audiobook, the complete works of Shakespeare read in an indian accent, and next week I have comin out, dickens with a lisp

Learn larry king voice

"Orange is a great fruit, but a terrible color -witchita kansas you're on" -larry king

gurilla marketing campaign easter egg hidden promotion

song for sign language Don henly heart of the matter

Like a tree with no limbs

time travel is invented but you can only go into the future, eventually people all go to far and get crowded a the end

phrase origon

(a history chanel style show that reenacts the origons of old phrases) parody, similar to egghead's duty on gervais show

Movie about girls night out gone wrong all the women die and the men are forced to band  together to raise the kids 2 men and a baby sequal #15

How many people here feel uncomfortable with audience participation raise your hands.  Up up up!

Shut yo mouth

little known mpaa guideline: the term motherfucker is only allowed in an R rated movies, unless you talkin bout shaft.

Baby tattoo looking old and faded in teen years

Milhouse vs bauhaus

the sketchiest profession? caricature artists

women think the gift of life is a power they posess, really its an obligation, men do not feel a paternal clock ticking. with power comes responsibility, the power is good for the whole of humanity, the obligation lies on the individual

piss dream

do you know what the universally scariest dream is. Ill give you a hint it takes place in the bathroom. The scariest dreams are when you are going to the bathroom and you realize that you are in a dream, for a second you freak out cause you don't know if you are pissing in real life and you kinda don't want to wake up to find out.