I like to dance. My favorite kind of dance is the one when you're a little kid and you stand on your parents feet.

Sebastián anus alshimer shit it pants

Kramer's favorite part of raisin bran is the bran. He likes corn flakes better than frosted flakes. But shreaded wheat is still better frosted

Ghandi had the quickest fast in the Dutch East

Violence is a selfish act

Fakir

Gandhi (1982) Margaret Bourke-White: [interviewing Ba in prison] Is it hard, being separated this way? Kasturba Gandhi: Yes. But we see each other in the day. Margaret Bourke-White: But not at night? Kasturba Gandhi: In Hindu philosophy the way to God is to free yourself of possessions, and the passions that inflame anger and jealousy. Bapu has always struggled to find the way to God. Margaret Bourke-White: You mean he gave up... married life? Kasturba Gandhi: Four times he tried, and failed. But then he took a solemn vow. Margaret Bourke-White: And he has never broken it? Kasturba Gandhi: Not yet.

What does this mean

Fasting is a ballsy political move

Acceleration is more interesting than top speed

The key to comedy is wearing a dress

You know what's heavy? Bowling balls.

Old McDonald had an igloo

Guy offered to buy my shirt today. What a weird way to go shopping.

Made flava flave look like George Kennedy in cool hand luke

Female cool hand luke

"I'm comfortably well off." - daffy duck swimming in a pile of gold

Modern day ascap boycot in music. Only public domain songs available to listen to

You never hear about people not getting into Harvard or MIT 100 years ago

People of substance. Who have mirrors in their house

Pop rock Margherita

How many people tie their shoes every morning?

Unseemly hullabaloo

Belt twist

My dad wrote Captian Underpants, so yeah I grew up with money

If I was a celebrity with skeletons in the closet, I would join Scientology, fast

That which we call a rose / By Any Other Name would smell as sweet.
What if you called it "poop"

What are the douchebag names for the next generation?

"ain't no such thing as halfway opera singing" mobb deep

Bike chop shop

Hap 3 musketeers
Rene chocolate peanut butter

More Schwab

Guys don't get purses because they will swing them around.

Musicians who have died on planes vs cars

Hard candy sucks. Hard is not a good adjective for food.

Pacing on the phone

Borat is a wild and crazy guy

Implications of a white guy who's 1/32 chinese

Guns don't seem like a good way to defend yourself. It's more of an offensive tool.