I used to sneak out of the house when my parents went to sleep. I would  walk barefoot to the park near my house and watch baseball. If i was lucky there would still be a few innings left in a local higschool game. I never used to go when i was younger and more afraid of the dark.
but now im drawn to the lights like the thousands of bugs burning up from flying to close to the lights.

Mass Murderer

I work at the local animal hospital spaying and neutering animals so I can play god.
Does the potential for life begin at conception or earlier?
Am I committing murder every time semen is spilled not used for procreation?

Right to Life

I want men to have the right to choose.

No Rest for The Weary

Contortionists should wake up in the middle of night to stretch

Write a haiku by committee

Manager quality assurance rhyme scheme metaphor simplicity

Jimmy Frankie Fitzy

The name's Jingleheimer-Schmidt, John Jingleheimer-Schmidt. My friends call me John Jacob Jingleheimer-Schmidt but that's only when I go out. When I'm at home they just call my by my nickname, Johnny Jakey Jinglhimey Schmitty

A Poor Tailor

A mendicant who cannot mend a pair of pants.

Being a beautiful girl kinda like being a paranoid schizophrenic, you always feel like people are staring at you, afraid everyone is after you.

Buy pennies to throw

Sexist Fears

Guys own dark alleys

Different silly superstitions that got associated as a harbinger for disasters, your brother got up on the wrong side of the bed one time and krackatoa erupted