Virginia wolf style stand up based on a spot on the wall= paul f tompkins

whats the best flavor of popsicle, right answer orange, wrong, "purple" you know why, cause it looks, like a horse dick. and you know what red ones look like, dog dick. im pretty sure freud said that and thats why orange popsicles are the best

Demigodzilla

Is demigod just the couple nickname for when demi Moore was dating god?

Fake plug, I just put out an audiobook, the complete works of Shakespeare read in an indian accent, and next week I have comin out, dickens with a lisp

Learn larry king voice

"Orange is a great fruit, but a terrible color -witchita kansas you're on" -larry king

gurilla marketing campaign easter egg hidden promotion

song for sign language Don henly heart of the matter

Like a tree with no limbs

time travel is invented but you can only go into the future, eventually people all go to far and get crowded a the end

phrase origon

(a history chanel style show that reenacts the origons of old phrases) parody, similar to egghead's duty on gervais show

Movie about girls night out gone wrong all the women die and the men are forced to band  together to raise the kids 2 men and a baby sequal #15

How many people here feel uncomfortable with audience participation raise your hands.  Up up up!

Shut yo mouth

little known mpaa guideline: the term motherfucker is only allowed in an R rated movies, unless you talkin bout shaft.

Baby tattoo looking old and faded in teen years

Milhouse vs bauhaus

the sketchiest profession? caricature artists

women think the gift of life is a power they posess, really its an obligation, men do not feel a paternal clock ticking. with power comes responsibility, the power is good for the whole of humanity, the obligation lies on the individual

piss dream

do you know what the universally scariest dream is. Ill give you a hint it takes place in the bathroom. The scariest dreams are when you are going to the bathroom and you realize that you are in a dream, for a second you freak out cause you don't know if you are pissing in real life and you kinda don't want to wake up to find out.

South park did it first. Chef/Isaac Hayes singing why do birds suddenly appear.

make album called white moses rapping over only issac hayes covers

football suicide

hey johnny manzel, suicide is painless. Johnny mandel wrote the song suicide is painless, theme for mash

bill murry ballgame

Ask bill murry if he wrote take me out to the ballgame. actually billy murry

with his shoures soote

some people say, live every day like it your birthday i live every day like its april fools

god vs heaven

i believe in god but not heaven

black cops

a cure to racism is a cool black cop movie that convinces black people to become dissproportinate percent cops and the power swings the other way

Compare complaining about a comedian who talk about serious topics to someone who complains about the president talking about problems